Sex Chat Site Suggestions
We are working to make this site better and better, and we’d love to hear from you, our users about what you’d like to see added or changed next! We have a lot ideas about what we want to do to make the site better for everyone, and I have heard a few ideas come out in the chat room itself. If everyone will add a comment below with their suggestions then we can keep them all in one place and add further comments on the ideas. Much better than just getting a random pm in the chat room – so tell us what you think!
i know you are probably sick of hearing about the things from the old lobby that we miss but i’m afraid i am going to suggest something that we used to have.
Before it was possible to see all users in all rooms, now if we are looking for a specific friend we actually have to enter each room to look for them.
Could you not reinstate the function that lists all users in all rooms (password protected rooms exempt of course)
I and many others think this would be of great use, it may even cut down on flame wars as people could move rooms knowing other friends were there.
Thanks in advance for taking time to consider this.
I agree with Skip, this would be nice to have back because I am sometimes looking for someone and think they aren’t there , but later find they were in another room. I don’t room skip because some of the rooms I would never enter due to my own preferences. Great suggestion Skip!
thank you for pointing this out. The eye feature was a kind of double edged thing, people used it to find friends, but other people used to kind of stalk people as well. I think that some people prefer not to be seen with the all seeing eye when they are in some of the niche rooms however as well. I am still considering this suggestion though.
Gonna put on my thinking cap and see if there is another way to make it so people can find friends who are on but not in the room they are in, without making it an all-room-seeing eye.
I’d like to see a function that would allow the host of a room to designate an heir to mod the room in their place for when they leave the room. Currently, if the creator of a room isn’t in said room, and randoms come in to hassle people, the only options are to iggy them, or create a whole new room to kick them if they follow.
Thank you Steve for responding to my email. I just wanted to clarify something here. You stated that I said this ” You mentioned that saying it’s okay for an abusive person to use harsh language is giving strength to the perpetrator”.
What I said was ” It sends the message to the person being violated that its ok to be attacked and it gives strength to the perpetrator”. What this means is that men, women and children who are abused, and other people who tell them that they are being too sensitive, when they are abused get another message. The message that the “victim” gets when there is no empathy for what they are going through, or that they are told they are being too sensitive to what is being said to them, is that it’s ok to get abused. Its not ok to be abused or to abuse back. Perpetrators of abuse love the feeling of power and control, it gives them strength. This is what I was saying, I didn’t say or think that abuse should be returned with more harshness or abuse. I agree with your points and they are all valid that violence begets violence. The more power and control they feel the happier they are. That’s why rape is considered a crime of power and control because the victim is helpless and is under the control of them. I just feel that it is human nature for someone who sees another person in trouble for them to want to defend them, help them and protect them. Unfortunately, sometimes it is done with too much aggression and that is where the arguments ensue. If we can learn to POLITELY ask someone to take it to another room on the site where they can enjoy that with someone else who enjoys it , as well, then that is one way to do it. The other is for people in the Room to just POLITELY ask them to not do it, that it makes people in the room uncomfortable and, as you mentioned somewhere else, that it may take a whisper to that person privately so they aren’t publicly humiliated either. The ignore button is a great thing to have and I have only used it 4 or 5 times since my almost 20 months here, but sometimes there are people who just are mean and want to exert their power over the room and make themselves feel better by making others feel miserable. I feel when things get out of hand like this, the moderator should ask them to stop their behavior in the lobby, take it to another room designed for that or to leave. This can be done in private with them,as well. If they choose not to cooperate and listen to good advice then they should be kicked or frozen till they can make a better decision. Then the mod could tell the lobby that it has been dealt with appropriately and to let go of it and move on. Moderators have a great deal of influence in the room and create atmosphere: people defer to them for guidance, as well.
Then you said this “I must point out that engaging these people with more abusive language is actually giving them more strength, just as violence begets violence, engaging these people with statement, even if meant to defend another person, actually eggs them on – they know they are being listened to, and getting a reaction, which is what I think many of them feed on. The suggested action is to use the block / iggy button, and if everyone in the room did that, it completely takes away all of that abuser’s power”.
I agree with this assessment , as well. But Steve human nature is human nature, many men will protect a woman they feel is worthy of protection (and women too). Do they do it correctly each time? No they don’t. But teaching politeness can be learned and they can learn that over time. I have seen more aggressive people in the room mature and develop and become kinder because of the friendships they have found and nurtured here.
I have seen people who come here become more confident and watched them develop their sense of humor and become part of the fabric that weaves us together. When they aren’t there people wait for them to come into the room, people ask about how they are doing? They care. So despite the negative happenings within sex chat there are so many more valuable and wonderful experiences that happen here. I know my life has changed for the better here, I fell in love with Mars and we plan to marry and have a fulfilling life together because of sex chat. Many others have as well. In the end of it all some people here feel like they are part of a family, one big, happy dysfunctional family. Maybe the only one they will ever have.
So to end this note Steve, I would just like to thank you for putting in so much time, effort and love into this site, we know you care. Thank you to all the volunteer hours that the mods spend here too.
With Love,
Venus
Thanks Venus, I really appreciate you sharing all of this. I agree with you, and I hope that others can learn something from it as well. It takes a lot of maturity to handle tough situations with politeness, and a lot of self control not to lash out at people who may deserve it. I have made mistakes like this, and so I do not blame others who occasionally go overboard with replies. I think we are seeing an overall change in the way things are handled here, not just by the mods, but also by the regular users.
I also appreciate the reminder, that even though something may sound simple or no big deal, that it could be causing a strong emotional reaction in another person. I need to remember not to minimize someone’s feelings, and realize that there may be other things in the past that cause strong emotional reactions in people. For one person to say hey, you are being too sensitive to some random person on the internet saying you are ugly – and similar issues like that, well in a lot of cases that may be true, but it does not mean that someone is not feeling something big because of a statement like that.
We see this with talk about rape, and I think that most people can see how a discussion about a subject such as that is liable to be a very emotional charged issue with some, and others just see it as some textual fantasy talk that is no big deal. While it is easy to see or understand how a touchy subject as that could bring some strong emotional feelings to the surface, it is not at easy to see some of the less controversial subjects could have a great impact on other people.
Sometimes the intent is not even to be mean, but things can be taken in a strong negative way with many other discussions, or simple statements. I had to tell some good friends a while back that making statements like “what’s up slim” – were actually very emotional for me. They were taken back by it. My friends were more than 20 pounds over their “ideal weight”, and so I explained that making statements like “slim” were to me like other people making statements like “fatty” – and they really could not understand that. I had to explain at great length that they may have been in their mind paying a compliment, or saying something that was no big deal, was actually a very big deal to me. Luckily these were close friends, and they took the time to listen and try to understand my point of view and associated feeling around these kind of things. Luckily they did not take this information and use it against me in the future, and actually changed some of their behavior becoming more sensitive to it.
It turned out to be a great opportunity for us to learn more about each other and what can go on inside another person that we might not be aware of. This is the kind of thing we can expect from friends, and hope for from strangers. I have learned that I can’t really get that from most strangers, and certainly not people in a random chat room. If only I could push a button on my phone and zap the random strangers out there to become muted / iggied/ disappear! Luckily we do have that power here.
So I think that short statements like “get over it, iggy, you are being too sensitive” – is really not meant to minimize another feeling of victimization, it’s just a suggestion about dealing with similar issues when they arise in the future, and perhaps offering the quickest solution may come as as being insensitive to the other person’s feelings. Perhaps we should spend more time letting people know that we have listened to them, and understood what they are seeing and taken the time to try to empathize or understand how they are feeling, and then offer out suggestions for solutions to make things better in the future.
I would love it if everyone in the world, or at least everyone here read, understood, and practiced the communication principals that Steven Covey teaches in the “Seven habits for highly effective people” – but even knowing these things, we sometimes lose our train of human interaction when writing replies in the chat room, forums or blog comments.
I know that people only have so much time they can spend online, and it appears that most of the people in our community here prefer to spend every minute they can in the chat room, and not much time with the other sections of the site. So I do really appreciate it when the users and mods do take the time to write in these areas, unfortunately quick replies sometimes come out as being insensitive or not fully understanding of what the other writers are saying.
I myself am going to try to remember and practice better communication throughout the other areas of the site. Especially since users like yourself have taken the time to engage in discussions here. Unfortunately I fear that some of our moderators have chime in less if they feel they are being mis-understood in their intentions. However think every bit helps, and even a quick couple of lines at least keep a conversation going. We can certainly continue to discuss and further understand one another.
I am totally going off on some random tangents here, sorry for that! I’m not even sure there is a point, other than you are right, I do care. I think a lot of people here care a lot, and sometimes we are misunderstood, or short on time. I am glad that you and other people are taking the time to share and help us all understand each other more.
Wow hearing a mod say this , emotionally speaking being a victim is a choice,
is the most insensitive thing I have ever heard said here. Its just like saying that if someone verbally or emotionally assaults you its your fault for it happening, dont take it personally. It sends the message to the person being violated that its ok to be attacked and it gives strength to the perpetrator . People who assault others whether or not its physical, verbal or emotional are Bullies and its Not OK to be a Bully. Never ever. I have known some people who have actually followed people into their private personal lives by sending emails to someones personal address that they Never gave out in Java, just to cause problems in someones relationships. So being upset is a choice when someone forces their way into your personal life outside of Java ? Each person who comes here is unique and they dont need to be assaulted here. People have no business deciding what is right or wrong or deciding if someone is cheating or not, especially when they dont have all the information in front of them and maybe the intimate personal arrangements that they follow in their friendships. We have no right to make judgements here because we never really know the reasons why they are here. What I believe to be cheating here is not important because I will decide if I do it or not. Its my choice. I have the right to also not to have sex chat here if I choose not to. I have been attacked here and it feels lousy, to be honest I have, in the past cried myself to sleep.
Maybe someone will tell me that its only sex chat here, but that does not give them the right to tell me what I get out of being here. We all are here for own personal reasons, entertainment, friendship, sex, relationships, advise etc. but it does not give anyone the right to hurt people purposefully and then cop out with an excuse that the person is just being too sensitive.
I realize this is a little off the topic but I just felt I needed to get that off my chest. I have been stalked here and granted the mods have helped in the past, but when someone comes into the room and purposefully hurts someone I dont blame friends for defending them in the room. But they should do it politely. The ignore button does not always work. If someone can ask you if they can shove their thick fat 10 inch cock into your asshole and then piss inside it, well then they had better be prepared for me, in the lobby to politely say No TY I dont wish you to shove your thick fat 10 inch cock into my asshole and piss into it. It is not mandatory to whisper a response to every pmer as far as I am concerned. These are my opinions.
First off I need to point out that not everything a mod says or posts is indicative of the policies or opinions of the site admins, although I will say that the mods we currently have doing this incredibly hard volunteer work do seem to be much more in line with how we are trying to make things work around here.
Also, I am not sure that anyone is trying make a blanket statement that anyone who becomes a victim of verbal abuse here, or anywhere else is asking for it (although some in the bdsm type niche certainly are – but that’s in an entirely different way). I do think that someone who continues to engage in an abusive conversation or relationship for that matter is making a choice to have the other person continue the abusive comments, and most likely make them worse. The first time someone says something abusive it is certainly the other person’s fault, barring any kind of “egging it” on or asking for it in a literal sense. I do not blame people for disagreeing with abusive people either.
When people fire back at an abusive person person and continue to go back and forth with insults, threats, or even just snide comments, they are at that point asking for an abusive person to continue. It may not even be a conscious thought of “Hey I want this person to come back with more insults, so I am going to defend and attack them” – but at least subconsciously, I think most people know that when you start fighting with someone like this, the outcome is likely to be more harsh words.
You mentioned that saying it’s okay for an abusive person to use harsh language is giving strength to the perpetrator, I must point out that engaging these people with more abusive language is actually giving them more strength, just as violence begets violence, engaging these people with statement, even if meant to defend another person, actually eggs them on – they know they are being listened to, and getting a reaction, which is what I think many of them feed on. The suggested action is to use the block / iggy button, and if everyone in the room did that, it completely takes away all of that abuser’s power.
I am sorry that you have been attacked in the public chat room, it is not something that is encouraged in any way shape or form. Our motto is more make love, not war. Keep the really heated and controversial subjects and debates out of the lobby. I can totally see situations arise where people would be greatly upset by some of the morons out there that come to the room, and I hope that our regular users will understand that they were perceived to be doing the same thing to a lot of new users for everything from not spelling correctly, not having good English, or simply asking people for conversation in the lobby of via pm – this is being discussed in the challenge to the regs section.
I certainly agree that everyone has a right to disagree, and to make statements that they do not appreciate other people’s offers or opinions, it would be abetter place for all if it was always done politely, and I know form experience that it is really hard to not jump in defend friends in the room in a way that is downright mean to put people in their places. I agree that is should be done in a polite way, and I understand that it is not always going to be the case.
In order to maintain space for pleasant conversation for a majority of our users who do not want to read non-stop drama, we do have to set limits. Making one statement about disagreeing, or not liking something someone said is one thing. Coming out with line after line of arguing and harsh statements is too much. Do we have a definitive line at this point? I am not sure we should set that. Perhaps making one statement in defense of another, or just one statement of disagreement is fine, but carrying on back and forth in the lobby not only distracts others from their enjoyment of the room, but I do not think that anybody can seriously think that multiple defending or “telling someone off” statements are really going to change the initial bad person’s behavior, or their chat demeanor. So what is the point? Defending and chastising to no end might just make someone feel better, at the expense of the other users on the room.
It is not mandatory to respond via pm – I like it when it happens, as it keeps drama out of the main room, and it keeps others from jumping onto the flaming bandwagon. Sometimes it makes more sense to reply to someone in the lobby, and sometimes it is better for everyone not to. Every situation is going to be different, and not everyone is going to make the best choice of communication style every time, there have been many times over the years when I said things in the lobby that should of been via pm. When I make a mistake like that, I try to learn from it, and perhaps make different choices in the future. I fear that many of our regular users have been learning that making lobby statements makes them feel superior and righteous and gets them props from their online “friends”.
I guess I am going off on a tangent here, sorry for that. So really I want everyone to know that our policies are not set to encourage the abusive behavior, and we are not intending to minimize any feelings when it comes to abusive people. We are asking for the opposite, we are asking for everyone to dis-engage from the belittling remarks, and not to continually engage those rude people who are trying to get a rise out of everyone.
Basic simple problems at this end! A lot of us now have and use the I pad, but the site chats never appear, requiring a flash player, that is not available from Adobe because of licencing problems. Today, my Mac Book Pro went into tje same mode, and no longer is allowed to use the Adobe Flash products.
While this is an inconvienence to me, and others I am sure, there has to be some format for chats that doesn’t rely on flash for operation.
Yahoo, Aol, and Msn, as well as about 56 other sites all run on all products, yet this site only loads about 70 percent of the site, leaving only blue screen in place of chat rooms.
Needs looking into I guess, but the problem is spreading rather than going away.
Thanks,
DF
Thanks for the suggestion, I was actually looking into this last night. I found the same problem with my new android phone. Our chat does require the flash player, and Java to run. It seems that many products either fail with licensing issues, or simply hardware incompatibilities as the need for flash and java may not be a problem with the average PC, but is certainly falling short with many of the new devices.
I would suggest updating the Java on your mac pro, and trying once again to get adobe flash player, and let me know if it still does not work. I would be surprised to see that the chat can not function with your mac pro. We however seriously looking into some options for straight html versions of the chat options as well. Not sure at this point if we can make it happen, but we have a little system that is showing some promise.
i was wondering if v could add a voice chat feature to voice chat with other members in private with their permission. I’ve tried, voice sex chat and the arousal is exhilarating! I mean God! the sexual energy and arousal flowing and coursing through your brain when you here a woman moan and give dirty talk….its a hell lot better than text sex chat….believe me…please consider!!
Hey thanks for the suggestion, and the pre-thumbs up on how hot it would be. We have been testing voice and video chat options here for a little while now, and as of now it is slated for a September release. We may bump that up to roll out sooner in a couple of ways that I can’t talk about right now, but lets just say there may be a voice / video chat add on option sooner, and then a full fledged system roll out in September of the major upgrade. It’s costing a bit more money than we had initially thought it would, and calculating the extra bandwidth costs and load on the web server has been a challenge. We do have interim system we are testing that makes that less of an issue though.
I will try to post an update within the next 30 days – if you don’t hear anything about it within that time, then remind me to post a special invite for people to check out and give feedback on the system as it stand by then and we’ll go from there.
i first would like to commmend the MODs, everyone is doing an excellent job of keeping things easy-going and de-escalting certain situations. i als love the addition of more MODs, it makes for much less darma, and loads more fun in the rooms!! that said my only complaint is times like right now, where there are no MODs and 4 people running around with underage in their names and 2 with cam in their names, we cant do anything ro stop them, and they go from room to room, so avoiding them is difficult, i have tried blocking, but more seem to pop up, could we possibly have late-night duty MODs?
thx!!
fun and games
Thanks for the suggestions! I am reminded also of the idea to take out “yellow” from the color options I think you had mentioned in during one of the chats.
when you say more late night coverage, do you mean late night like 1am Eastern Standard Time? Or??
I will try to word this as polite as I can, I know I have issues with my choice in wording coming off as harsh and or blatantly rude, but it is not meant to be taken so. You should never believe what people tell you on-line, moderators cannot babysit “sensitive” users. Some people tell me I’m ugly, fat, ignorant or otherwise and I don’t care, I’m told regularly that my picture is ugly and I’m okay with that, it’s the internet. It’s not abuse or assault verbal or otherwise, it’s rudeness, block the user and move on. This has gotten way too out of hand you can’t beat nice into people just like you can’t beat stupid out of them. Letting someone’s stupidity effect your day is not a moderator problem, the flame war that follows is.
Sorry to have troubled you, Boots. My main thing about it was not his comments but that he blatantly just verbally attacked me. I get your point and it is well taken. I must say I am not sensitive at all — life has taught me alot of lessons. I will certainly promise to use the BLOCK feature and not cause any more problems in the future to any of the mods here. Thank you
Ok here goes, i hate it when i feel i have to do something because i disagree with policy but on this occasion i really feel its neccesary. First off, this in no way is intended to say the mods are in the wrong, they are following rules, most of the rules are fair and make sense, this rule however is not only absurd but it is also unjust. In a text only chat room it is impossible to physically assult anyone, yet a threat to do so is a kickable offence, verbal assault is sometimes more worrying and distressing to the victim, and at times when a mod is in the room, the victim of the assault deserves the protection from the mod, if the protection does not come because of a generalisation of a rule then it is up to the right minded people in the room to protect the victim. At the moment we have the absurd, unjust and quite frankly sick attitude of block, dont defend or you will be kicked, i’m sorry but that gives rights to the attacker and puts up two fingers to the victim. if i were to stay on the site i would be risking a kick each time a verbal assault took place (and i can tell the differance between rudeness and assault) if i did nothing but block i would be as guilty as the site owners in what in real life is a criminal offence, that of knowingly condoning and abetting an assault. there fore i have little choice other than to leave the site, reluctantly i might add and hope that common sense and decency prevails and mods are allowed to be able to use their judgement, even if it means asking the victim of a attack how they feel in order to help them justify a kick or ban. Most mods are really good at what they do, help them become better by letting them use the common sense they all have. Remember i am not talking about lobby dramas, rudeness or even bad taste remarks, i am talking verbal assault. thank you for your time taken to read this and i hope one day to feel as if i can come back to a lobby where the scales of justice are once more in balance and the users feel they have the protection of the system. PS. Please excuse my dodgy typing skills and incorrect use of the English language, i do envy those with intelligence and the ability to type.
Thanks for clarifying more Skip! I do see where you are coming from, and I guess we need to discuss more about what would be a serious verbal assault, and what is simply rude or bad taste. I am trying to imagine what kind of phrases you are talking about in order to have a better understanding. If we did, and I am not saying we are, but if we did make some things kickable offenses, there would have to be a definitive list and guidelines so that things were easily understood in the rules, and for our mods to know what lines are the lines.
Unfortunately as I posted a few examples above, it is quite easy for different people to “hear” the same texted words in very different ways. I know one of our mods who is no longer with us would be kicking people because that particular mod found just about any not-nice comment towards a female to be a kickable offense. I have also seen users who flagrantly tried to egg on other users to get more defensive and more rude, I have seen “regs” publicly chastising and humiliating newbie users, verbally backing them into a corner and taunting / bullying others, knowing very well that it would most likely cause a reaction, and with the thought that they would be “protected” by the mods. I’ve seen it happen many times, so making a rule like this would be setting up even more of that behavior I am afraid.
But, I am open to hearing what kind of phrases that I may be unaware of, and see that maybe some phrases that could be verbal assaults that are threatening harm – well maybe we should look more into that. I just woke up, I gotta think more on this a little later.
On a more individual scale of things, you are one user, i am one user, if you don’t like what is being said block the user, problem gone. each situation is unique in what is being said as is each of the moderators way of seeing it, there is no perfect answer. Nash is great about supporting us mods in our decisions and we try to reflect that trust in our decisions about what is kickable and what is something that can be prevented by the other users just using the block function. And being told off or to go fuck yourself for saying no to a guy does not make you a victim cause they in no way can physically harm you and emotionally speaking being a victim is a choice, but educating users on blocking ignorant people is the best we can do for when we are or aren’t in the room to see the situation at hand.
I would like to reply to what Skip was discussing. I was the victim of the verbal attack Skip was talking about. I was on Sexchat minding my own business and all of a sudden, a user named Ostrich’s EGG just out of the blue, unprovoked started verbally attacking me saying that my nickname doesn’t fit my profile pic, that I should be “Ugly Honey” or “Ugly American”. Now, that is just outright wrong to say. If you don’t like someone’s pic, does that give someone the right to verbally attack them over and over again in the lobby? I don’t think so. I am always very nice and polite and never rude to anyone. I did answer his initial comment to me by saying, “thank you for your kind comment to me”. Skip did come to my defense as did some other users. I tried holding my tonuge and not engaging Ostrich’s EGG any further. I was very very upset to have been publically humiliated and attacked in that way and I do feel the mods maybe should have pm’ed him to stay stop doing that or risk being kicked. I understand the important use of the block feature but I feel when an outright verbal assault such as that is done, some action should be taken. If it were done to a mod, I am sure his butt would have been kicked right away. There should not be a double standard between regular users and mods. I understand mods are a very important part of this site and they serve a great and useful purpose here and their job is not always easy. But if a mod is verbally attacked in any way and a regular user is verbally attacked, the action should be the same for both mods and regular users. There should NEVER be a double standard in any instance. That is all I am saying. I felt very very bad about myself when that happened. I only posted my pic so that my friends could see who they have been talking with. I did not do it to solicit unwanted comments such as those that I received. I am just wondering if you would consider making an across-the-board rule in this case that when someone is repeatedly verbally abused, that some kind of action is taken on the part of the mods and not only to be told to use the block feature. Please consider that suggestion strongly. I am sure if the mods would have pm’ed him and warned him or given him a public warning in the lobby, that he would have stopped his verbal assault on me. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing about this AH, I am sorry that someone has taken their issues out on you in the room, this kind of thing happens a lot in strip clubs too. I don’t know what is wrong with guys, but it seems that when they are in a place that has a sexual vibe running through it, they tend to act not only more primal, but also rude. I am guessing it has something to do with some kind of past rejection issues, and they reenact the abusive behavior in and take out their issues on other people who do not deserve it.
I have seen gorgeous strippers taken back by some rude comments such as the ones you describe. There are always going to be times when people make comments that many consider inappropriate and uncalled for. The good thing is that here in the chat room you can click block and be done with it pretty easily. When you say “I was very very upset to have been publically humiliated and attacked in that way and I do feel the mods maybe should have pm’ed him to stay stop doing that or risk being kicked.” – This makes me think what a user must feel when they pm a reg, and then that reg says something like “No I do not want your fake large cock pmer” in the lobby.
When you mentioned that “If it were done to a mod, I am sure his butt would have been kicked right away.” – I think that is not the case, and mods generally do not use the block/iggy button. We are having a discussion about this in the mod discussion area. Mods should have a very thick skin and be able to take comments not only in the chat room, but also on the moderator complaints page. We will not kick someone for disagreeing with us, or for being rude to a mod a couple times generally. We will ask for users to not clog up the chat room with a flame war, and take the comments to another area of the site where they can be addressed by the site admin and others if that user would like. If we mods kicked everyone who made rude or stupid comments, we would not have many users left. I imagine that one mod would kick anyone who used the term “bitch” and another mod would kick anyone who used other terms that they personally felt offense to. In fact, the mods are kind of bound to our mod agreements that is very specific about what we can kick for and can’t, which often leaves some creepy people in the chat rooms, that I am sure if someone had a personal chat room running, they would kick in a minute.
The main reason we do not kick for being rude is that it sets up issues where some people kick too much, and there is no consistency – it is really hard to have a definitive list of “this phrase is too crude, but this phrase is okay” – as soon as we try to define it, people would find ways around it.
I have been thinking about your suggestion a lot, it’s just not possible to implement with so many different mods and different cultures using the site. There are some ways that you can kind of take this issue into your own hands however.
Using the block button is quick, easy, and powerful. You can also setup your own room (and even make it password protected if you like) – the furry group tends to create their own rooms and put in the description – no rudeness, no drama or you will be kicked. When a user creates their own room, they can kick people out for whatever reason they like, I don’t have a problem with that at all. I have seen that some of the regs sometimes start a room like the Boston Bar and kind of make things their own way. That cuts down on the ignorant assholes who try to ruin everyone’s day.
I could also go into some details about a time several years ago when we had a couple of mods (who are no longer with us) – that did start to kick people who were rude to girls on the site. After some time, not only did we start to get a lot of complaints (many from girls) that people were being kicked when they were meaning to be funny or sarcastic, but a reverse attack mentality started to develop and take over. We ended up with a group of regs who purposely tried to stir up the drama pot, I am blown away when I witnessed new people come to the site and ask what many believed to be a stupid question, they chastised this user, publicly humiliating them. Of course that user came back with some strong words, which brought on more and more – to the point where the mod kicked the new user.
Needless to say, that was not the only incident such as that, and it made me write up a new set of rules for the mods, and it has taken quite some time to pull people back from that mentality. We still have a couple of users who try to poke and prod and throw gasoline on a match to cause drama, or to look like they are the great rescuer defended for the girls they want to impress – but really, when things go that direction, I put the blame on the users who are causing the drama to explode, rather than the original person who “started it”.
I hope this makes sense, I’d be happy to provide more details and examples – but this is like the double edged sword of free speech in general. Free speech is great when you are reading the kind of stuff that you like, but when other people start spouting off stuff that you don’t agree with, wouldn’t it be nice to silence them? Unfortunately I have to defend the rights of someone to talk about their religious wars and racist rhetoric in order to protect the free speech for us to talk about sex. I defend the speech of the freaks that want to talk about (insert random fetish here) so that I can talk about (insert my random fetish here).
I think the mods have heard some long rants about this already in the mod discussion area, so they have a better idea of where I am coming from and why we have the rules set the way we do. (That one guy and his stupid sign) – I am glad to explain more, but think this rant is starting to get too long. I am reminded of a saying that way something like “no one can take your self confidence if you don’t give it to them” – so be strong when someone spouts off something hurtful – realize that it’s their issue, their opinion, thier crap – and leave it with them.
I gotta work on my blog post the challenge to the regs, I would like to use a quote from your message here to get people to think more about how we treat to the noobs (newbies, new users) – as often it is our reactions that direct the people to act out in worse ways, and I also believe that our actions can get people to act out in better ways. Not always, but even if we turned 50% of the drama into good conversations and taught the noobs how to be better chatters in general, we would all have a better time, and use the block button less.
Just wondering when someone is going to acknowledge my message from May 18. It’s been 11 days and no response from Nash. Could someone please contact him and ask him to review it?
Was it in the suggestions? i can only see one of yours from the 26th?
found it, it was in the mod complaints section and yes it was responded to by Nash the same day
http://www.sexchatsexchat.com/blog/moderator-complaints/
Hi Boots,
Sorry, that wasn’t the one I was referring to. I didn’t realise until now that I had posted two messages on the same day. If you look at comment #39 on this page, you’ll see what I am referring to.
Thanks! CG
Oh and now I just noticed Nash’s reply from two days ago… sorry!!
Hey Gent, I think you left two comments that day, and the second comment about the mod stuff is being held. I know it’s been months since we first talked about it – but I have a lot going on with this site, and our other sites right now, along with some new mods and such. I just can’t give a definitive thumbs up or thumbs down at this time.
I read this post of yours skip and the replies with interest. I don’t think I was on at the time because none of it rings a bell, but I did want to add the following.
Yes there are some people who log on and just do whatever they can to stir up drama. Yes, the best solution is for people to ignore them. But I, like most of us, have also sometimes got really annoyed at their ongoing behaviour. However, occasionally I have ended up whispering to these people and trying to talk to them. Why do I do this? Well, the thing is, sometimes people simply don’t get how to behave on the site. And they might think they’re being smart or clever. Or, as have several people considered annoying lately commented, they don’t like the “reg” mentality and how clicky (sp?) it can be.
For example, there was a guy on 2 days ago who was absolutely annoying the shit out of everyone – nothing really that was a kickable offence, and I whispered to him and asked him why he was being such a dick. It turned out that several female regs had called him out and humiliated him for trying to start a conversation (and who knows what he said to them, it might have been bad) – and he was frustrated. So I talked to him for a while and explained that as time goes on of course people on there get to know each other, and that “regs” kind of expect newer users to understand the rules and behaviour – which of course they often don’t. This guy was totally calm by the time we finished talking, he’s since changed his username and I noticed he’s started talking to regs now and “fitting in” heaps better.
Sexchat is no different to any other group of people. If you were in a mall for example and there were 90 people, there would always be a few idiots that you’d try and avoid, maybe even cross the mall to get away from them! But for a general shopper (say as opposed to mall staff) calling them out in public or making a scene, it doesn’t help anyone. Unless of course they were doing something that made the environment unsafe (and were alerting someone who could do something about it).
As a new mod, yes, my advice always has to be for users to ignore them and to watch the person in question to see if they cross any boundaries (ie commit a kickable offence). As a reg though (which I still am), I choose to also not inflame the situation and if I can diffuse it. I have definitely been guilty in the past of calling out idiots and trying to protect friends they are hassling, but I guess since things changed for me a few months ago I’ve had a new perspective, mostly anyways …. I still occasionally let it get to me.
Just on a side note – every time I log onto sexchat I get bombarded with whispers. Most women do. 90% of them I just ignore …… they’re what I would call list jumpers, they either work their way through the names list or contact you as soon as you log on. If they contact me a second time I usually just politely reply back “thanks but I’m not interested”. If a whisper is definitely intended for me and is something I would consider personally offensive, I don’t call them out on it in the lobby, I just reply to them that I do not appreciate being spoken to like that and ask them to not contact me again. If I wasn’t a mod I would ignore them. I’m really not liking the way some people make fun of what we call “pm’ers”. Responding in the lobby to them kind of takes up chat space, humiliates the person writing (which of course may be the intention) but ultimately to me just doesn’t seem to have a point. If you don’t want to talk to someone either tell them in private or ignore them (and of course if you aren’t a mod, block them).
I still do occasionally respond to whispers in the lobby, I’m far from perfect, and sometimes it’s faster and easier, but I have found that if I take the few seconds to whisper to them, well, it ends stuff pretty quickly or sometimes I’ve been able to either help someone adjust to life on sexchat or make a new friend.
Anyway, just my thoughts! MI.
I have to agree 100% with MI, on a personal level I hate rudeness to other people, but it does work both ways, yes it is annoying when people come in causing drama, but when people starting being rude back it doesn’t help and only inflames the whole situation, and yes in the past I have responded back when I or friends have been verbally abuse, but as Nash said the Block button is the best thing to do. And like MI I will often whisper the person and ask why the rudeness.
Mikey.
this is not a complaint about mods but it is a complaint about rules they have to follow. i have just left the lobby in a very bad mood because one user was insulting almost every one else in the room and although 3 mods were in there, no action was taken against him/her and others were asked to block. the block feature is good and useful in small doses but surely when one person is going against all the rest then i think that person deserves the warnings and the kick. as i said this is not a complaint against the mods, this is a plea for common sense. i doubt a rule change will happen but i hope it does or i feel i will not be able to stay in a room that condones the insulting of many by a single person
I’ll second that… I totally agree with skip.
I understand it is frustrating many times in the lobby and other rooms when a total moron comes in and acts stupid, or is insulting. The block button is for sure the easiest fix for this. I am glad it is understood that it is a rule for the mods, and not their fault that offensive words stream across the screen on occasion.
The problem with saying that people can be kicked for being rude or offensive is that different people have different opinion on what is offensive and crosses the line. Currently we have established that anyone who threatens bodily harm can be kicked. We have even made it so that users who want to engage in rape roleplay or family discussions are asked to take it to another room.
The way I see it, we all have different opinions what would constitute speech that is so bad it warrants being kicked. What if it was a 1-10 scale, and I might see someone calling a moderator a dumb ass in the room, and that might consider that a 9 on the scale. Then we have another moderator in the room, they see someone call someone a bitch and think that is offensive and deserves a kick, or another mod thinks that someone saying a lesbian is a waste of human flesh is a kickable offense. There are so many factors, that I do not think we can go down that route.
We do not condone insulting language (except perhaps in the bdsm room or something – lol) by allowing people to express themselves in ways they see fit. We are giving the users the freedom to block any users that they do not want to see any more messages from. If someone comes into the room and starts spouting off words like bitch and cunt, and 30 people use the block feature so no one is engaging that user, then they would probably leave, or just be sitting there talking to only themselves.
We could also get in to the times when one person writes “hey bitch” – and meaning it as a fun upbeat hello, but some other people read it a serious insult. There are many more examples of text being misunderstood from what the author was intending to say. So moderating what is offensive and rude becomes very difficult in a text room indeed.
Now I am guessing that this one particular situation you are referring to was probably one of those that was so blatantly rude to so many people that yeah, maybe it would of been better to just kick them out, but how do we make that a rule and then create a chart saying that if someone makes 5 level 8 offensive remarks to more than 3 people then they are kicked? Which remarks are level 8?
A rule for kicking annoying users would leave us with about 20 people in the room, and I agree that that may be a more fun experience for most of the regs, but the regs can (and do) create their own rooms with their own rules and ability to kick anyone who they want, without the mods needing to interfere at all.
I know it’s not perfect, but it’s how things need to be in order to stave off a group “we’ll kick if you if we don’t like you” reg mentality. A rule like this would also encourage some of the “pull them into drama to get rid of them” mentality that has cropped up on occasion over the years as well. As bad as some of the losers are in the chat room, it would seem that some of our regular users are worse, because they encourage more bad language by engaging, prodding and fanning the flames. If a rule was made that users could be kicked for being offensive, I believe we would see more people trying to egg on fights, and I really don’t want to see more of that in the chat room.
I hope this makes sense, I could elaborate on any one of these issues much more. I also hope no one takes any offense to the examples posted, I am just throwing some random things out there, and the above statements do not reflect my personal or this site’s beliefs about the terms used. We could also get into other terms such as race, and what about users you use other languages and stuff like this.
I had thought for a long while that having the feature added in for “vote to kick” would be awesome, and some the mods some work, and make the chat better for the users when no mods were available. However after watching more of the interactions of the drama users (the noobs or newbies, and the regs alike) – I have seen that such a feature would quickly turn into a way for a small group of people to kick other people who spoke in a different way or language, and kick people who they just did not like, which would be taking away the option for other people in the room to engage them, who might not like them.
I could see a few guys just voting to kick guys just to have less competition for female attention. I could see all kinds of ways that such a feature would end up being abused, and that’s why I have scrapped that vote-to-kick project. Right now the users have the ability to make their own rooms with pretty much their own rules, and they could kick in those rooms without a vote anyhow.
Being on of said mods in the room, i repeatedly asked for the other users just to block the offender, but it escalated into a bit of a barrage with different people feeling the need to get in their 2 cents in defense of the original target and i threatened all of them with quick kick if they did not just go with the block. if they had blocked in the first place, the offender would have more than likely gotten bored and moved on. if he had been just flooding the boards with rude junk he would’ve been kicked, but that was not the case.
And that would have broken the rule about flooding, not a rule about being rude or unpopular. Which it sounds like was not the case in this situation.
Of the few flame wars I have seen in the lobby, certainly the original dumbass was a problem, but honestly, the bigger problem has been the group of regs who stirred the pot to make it worse, making the original dumbass come back with more reactionary statements, which of course bring more people into the fray, and really I have seen some situations be more the reg’s fault for the later, often more derogatory comments, as they are one the ones antagonizing. Not always, and not all the regs. There seems to be a couple that like to start shit, and some that like to inflame shit, and others that jump into the mix to defend friends. So as much as we can point the finger at one that we’d like to have kicked, I can quickly point the finger at a few who are more guilty of bringing it on the first place – but I have been reluctant to call them out, as I am trying to keep it even for everyone.
: Reminds self to write that blog post on my challenge to the regs. #1 on to do list.
I am a frequent user on the chat but this suggestion for a new room might be “controversial” so ill try using another name
I know that many people do no like it and if the admin/mods wouldnt agree with me just let me know what makes it “wrong”
I was thinking of a “Bestiality/Zoophilia” room. If that is not all correct, let me know why and how it differs from the “Family fun room” or “Forced sex room”
Thanks /AM
There is nothing stopping users from creating such rooms on their own, and there is nothing in the rules (as far as I can remember) that would make creating such a room a problem. We will not be creating a system defined room for this however.
I love all the comments given here and for everyone taking the time to comment. I have been a regular here for about 18 months now. It is very difficult to get into the main lobby when signing in some days. Could there be a choice to sign into another lobby for people who wish to go directly to another room so they don’t take up space for those who can’t get into the main lobby because it’s so busy ?. Sometimes there are 2 lobbies open because it’s so busy. Or could the lobby size be increased to 150. The comment Moose made about the names on the right is good, I preferred seeing who came in at the bottom of the list, like it used to be. Another suggestion I have is open a message board for registered users to leave messages for other registered users (maybe up to 10 messages allowed per person). This would allow for people to network and coordinate meeting here on the site. A more personal profile could be set up to introduce yourself to others . A person could leave a personal message like “I will be gone for 10 days, I’m on Holidays”. Perhaps have a 30 day limit on how long messages could be left so it doesn’t clog the system up. If a person doesn’t use the message board after its set up, then after 4 months it’s automatically erased and you need to re-register for it. People get involved in others lives here and this feature would be wonderful. Purposeful impersonation of nicknames should not be allowed. I have been a victim of it in the past and it is horrible. Thank You for making this site better Steve and all the contributors.
Thanks for sharing these ideas!
I know it’s a pain to get into the lobby sometimes, we are experimenting with some different ways of making this better. It is really very interesting to see the way things flux and change on different days and the times of the day. Without going into a long ramble about some of the ideas we are working on, I’ll just say that it’s a work in progress. We will be changing room limits to experiment with that, and we’ll be doing some more testing of forcing some users to different rooms.
“Could there be a choice to sign into another lobby for people who wish to go directly to another room so they don’t take up space for those who can’t get into the main lobby” – we have started to do this with the India chatters room, and we’ll be expanding the options for entering a specific room for other niches as well. I think this will take about 15% of the load off the lobby, but it’s not a complete solution.
I’d love to see the room at 150 – this would definitely make people use the ignore button to keep a readable scroll. It would probably piss off a lot of people, and it would make moderating very difficult, but if it forced people to use the iggy button more, it would be a fun experiment!
Your idea about the message board has been added. It’s kind of crude right now, and perhaps won’t be fully understand until I make a video showing how to use the forums system better, but all that is in the works. I created a new forum for “regs only” – and if you use the split screen view of the chat / forums – you should be able to read the “regulars forums” while still being the chat room. Of course you should be able to use the other forums goodies too like private email messages, photo galleries, posting on profiles (like the facebook wall – they are called “visitors messages”, and other things.
I know it’s kind of crude right now, and a bit confusing. I am working with a graphics designer to clean it up, and once a video is available to show people that they can Pm through the forums and do pictures and stuff like that, I think it will take off.
“impersonation of nicknames” – this is an issue we have been grappling with and working on for a long time. I am still working on the best way to deploy this system with the chat room, and still allow non, or not-yet-registered people use the chat room. It’s some seriously complex issues to be worked out. The easiest fix is to make everyone register in order to use the chat, but I think that would keep a lot of people from using it. Sure it would keep out a lot of riff raff, but it may also be the thing that keeps new regs from ever trying it out. So the battle goes on, and we are testing several ways of making it all mesh together.
In the meantime, a rudimentary way to work with this problem, would be to make someone prove they are who they ware through the forums. You could be in the chat room and say “Hey nickname here, you seem different, if this is really you starting some drama, how about a quick post in the forums, or on your profile wall so we can verify this is really you. An impostor will not have access to one of our registered user’s account, so it would be an easy way to call someone out.
I’d love to provide some more details, but I hate to take up too much of anyone’s time. I will try to get some videos done this week, and am still working on other upgrades to address some of these issues.
Big thanks to you and everyone else who takes the time to share suggestions. It’s people like you that keep us working to make the place better and better for everyone.
Please forgive if I am posting this in the wrong area, but I just had a small question about the Furry Fun room on the Public Rooms board.
I, personally, am a regular in the various furry rooms, but I do find it annoying that our rooms are often split up. I would love, if you will, to have the furries and otakus together under one banner in the Furry Fun room. The problem is, that there never is an admin or mod in that room, like there is a room creator in the user rooms. I understand that the moderators and admins are typically busy in the lobby and other main rooms, and that they are also busy with thier occasional rounds, in so much that it is difficult for them to watch every single main room.
So, and all my determination stands behind this, I am requesting, if not myself then someone else, to be allowed moderator powers in the FurryFun Room. I would, personaly, rather have someone either than myself hold reins in that room, but I am willing to step up if the need arises. I am positive that you would not find many a bad report of me among the other furries, if you were to ask around.
But really, this is not a campaign pitch. I just wish, plead, beg, that you have a moderator or Administrator of some sorts in that room.
I was also curious if you were able to make it so that you could only be a mod in one particular room. If I ever was made a mod, atleast for the time being, I’m not sure I would want to be one over the entire site. Not until, atleast, some of the mod/admins got to know me better.
Sincerely and Always,
BunBun “Nyah” Usagi
This is a great place for these suggestions. I knew that creating a furry room would bring about this problem, and it is something that we have been talking about in the moderator discussion pages. There are several ways to go about working on this issue.
We have been considering adding a few of the furry friends to the ranks of moderators as a way to fix this problem, but doing that will create some additional issues. Another option is to elect a few furry peeps to be limited mods, that are given kick powers, but not given full on permanent ban powers. Another option, which may be the best option, is to simply remove the auto-created furry room, and leave things the way they were.
The furry group has been great at moderating it’s own rooms by creating a new room and having a room owner that kicks out problem users. Currently our system software does not allow for us to create a moderator for individual rooms. One of our new flash chat systems has that ability, but launching that as the main public chat system is a couple months away at best. Having those abilities is a suggestion that we are working on.
I appreciate the offer to help moderate the room, and I believe there are several of the furry group that would handle the responsibility just fine, it’s just that our system is not setup to run things on an individual room basis. When we get our newer systems up and running, we may look at doing things differently.
In order to become a moderator, there are many pages of “mod rules” that need to be read and agreed to, probably much more reading than most people would want to do. We are also about to add a few new mods to the system, and having new moderators generally adds quite the workload onto the system admins, as we deal with new complaints and messages from the occasional mistakes or communication issues.
I think for now I will just erase the auto-created furry room, that will fix the split issue, and keep things tidy for everyone involved. I am really impressed with the way the furry group has created it’s own space and is self moderating quite well. Things may be more flexible when we deploy the new chat systems. We may add a furry section to the forums. I kind of feel like I should provide more details, but running short on time right now.
And I would like to thank you for that time. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to be a moderator unless I was needed to be, but in anycase, I am looking forward to what this site to offer in the future. I’ve met some very dear friends on here, thanks.
With my best regards,
BunBun “Nyah” Usagi
Hey, I think The forum profiles could use improvement, They need fields such as “turn-ons” “turn-offs” “ideal-partner” and other stuff, mayby some more HTML support or something
Added those three profile fields. Thanks for the ideas! We have lots of work to get the forums where we want them. HTML support in the profile may not come together – at least not in the profile fields. We are looking to do much more with the forums soon – I think we finally have 98% of the small template fixed up. Now to add more goodies!
Some good ideas Kitsune
and regarding modding other rooms, I am always happy too, if their are more then one mod on site, my thinking if they is only one mod on, is that mod should be station in the lobby so their are easier to find for people.
Mikey
The furry room seems to be very popular, is there any thought about making it one of the official rooms? the problem with this however is that its harder to control the room if nobody can kick those who cause trouble, Just a small thought, probably not the best Idea, but an idea still.
also mayby We could have specific room mods for each main room, mods for the family fun room Etc
I like your ideas. Thank you for sharing! I have no problem creating a furry room as a standard place for people to find each other.. what should it be called exactly? “The Furry Room” ?
A specific mod for various rooms is also a great idea. I will have to think how this could be worked out.
attachment it not working so please look in the matter as early as possible.
Are you talking about attachments in the blogs / peeps area? Or in the forums? Or in the chat rooms area?
Hey, the site recently stopped working yesterday for me running firefox from linux. The chrome browser still works though. I know the population of users that use that setup is probably small, but just letting you know.
We had a script update yesterday that may have caused some outages. I think everything should be back up and running fine, would you please confirm that it is running okay with your setup or it is still a problem?
Still no good for firefox. If you want specifics, the blue screen shows up but not the login box. After a while, I am assuming it times out, then it all disappears and a link to download adobe flash player shows up. The specific distro I am running is kubuntu 10.10.
I found a similar issue with one of our test systems, and from what I can tell it’s a flash player issue. Would you upgrade to the latest flash on that system and let me know if that fixes?
I have been using the latest flash so old version shouldn’t an issue. It really isn’t a big deal since I can just use chrome. If you want more testing from me, I would be happy to help though. I can try some other browsers as well if you want, just let me know.
On my one test system, I had to disable the addon for adblock plus – if you have this addon, would you try disabling, and then uninstalling it perhaps and report the results?
Thanks for your help!
Nash
Yeah, adblock plus was the issue. Haha, so I’m guessing the outage was by design rather than a bug. I honestly don’t mind though, the ads are probably fair to offset server costs. But, just fyi, the whole anti adblock isn’t effective, the default adblock filter list doesn’t catch the ads on the site anyways. adblock or no adblock, the ads still show up unless the user manually blocks them.
No actually, we did not design it this way. We know our ads generally show even with the adblock. We did update our script, but it was mainly to make it do some backup and restore functions better. I think the issue has more to do with the latest adblock update. Not sure exactly what they did with their blocking rules changes, and not sure why it is affecting our java login. We certainly would not design the chat area this way. Perhaps some contact with the addon author could shed some light on this, I hate to think that firefox users may think the site is not functioning because an addon is causing a problem. I am glad that we were able to figure it out though!
Just because I can’t shut up, we have a fairly active cross-dresser/shemale/transvestite group perhaps a room for that so those looking for that specific chat have someone to hang out. although too many rooms can be a hassle, we are suddenly more popular in the last few months i think the lobby can withstand the decrease in population during high traffic times if the other rooms are popular.
Always here
Boots
Great observations and suggestions! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I have two requests.
First, if you’re banned, I wanna know for how long. Maybe a small indicator telling us how much time we have left or something.
And second, I’d like it if the mods didn’t jump the gun at every little thing. I got banned simply for no reason, so I assumed it was my name, which was “Barely legal teen”. But I looked in the rules and there was nothing wrong about my name, since it implies that I recently turned 18.
Thanks
Thank you for posting your concerns. These are issues that the moderators and I have been discussing quite a bit recently. If you could tell me which moderators and which room you were in, I may be able to research the situation more. Without having the other side of the story, it’s tough to make any judgments or anything.
The chat system script is just not set up to tell anyone how long they have been kicked or banned for. I think I posted on the “kicked or banned from the chat room page” that bans generally last 24 hours or less. If a ban is still in effect after 24 hours then it is permanent.
We strive to kick people from the chat that are breaking rules, and sometimes we kick people that maybe should of gotten a warning, sometimes the wrong person gets kicked. Sometimes the mods send me an email asking to unban someone when it was a mistake.
Thanks so much for your comments, we are constantly updating our rules, and procedures. User input helps us to know what direction we need to move in.
I was in the Lobby, but I have no clue who the Mod was.
And do you think you could unban me?
I would need you to send a copy of your ID, and a photo, or camera phone pic of you holding the ID so that we can verify your age. You can put a piece of tape over the address if you like, we just need to verify your age. If you would prefer to verify age in another way, such as making a credit card payment, or paying for a background check I would be fine with that to.
Email addy for me is the site admin contact info – We could also setup an online form where you could upload and submit a photo, a scan, and a statement if you prefer.
Being “slightly” knowledgeable in BDSM side of things, instead of adding more country specific rooms, adding two or three rooms for different more common fetishes might be an advantage such as a room titled Fetishes for Furries, Hentai and animal play – not to be confused with beastiality this is where people dress up like, puppies, kitties and ponies. Also a room just titled roleplay for those are just looking for a story line to their chat. The BDSM community has always welcomed these types of play, but these things are not about bondage and and all things sadistic, leaving that room rarely used. And I’d also to encourage the idea of room tabs or something for the fact that there is different rooms for different things to be more prominently displayed for newer users, even on the log-in page stating ” for a more sexually specific sexchat experience, try one of our many fetish rooms.
Always here to help
Boots
Excellent suggestions. I think we will do that! I’d love to know what kinds of niche fetishes we should include in the default chat rooms. The Australia and Europe chat rooms were mainly created as a temporary placeholder while we work on some how-to use the chat room videos. They will certainly be replaced. Any suggestions from anyone would be considered.
Guidelines for the users and mods about arguments, flaming, and abuse of the iggy thing. This also needs to be on my list of info updates.
I visit this room about once or twice a week. I read some of the posts that are here and I am really impressed with Sith Lord Darth Moose. He has always been very friendly with not only me, but it seems like all other people that chat, both to new people an people that he knows. I have also seen many users of the room comment on his manners when he is on-line. Plus, his ideas about how to improve the chatroom are really insightful, to regulars, new people and mods alike it seems. So, my question here is to Sith Moose…Why are you not a moderator of the chatroom?
I’m quite the noob around here, so to speak (it’s been only a week) but I love this chat room, simply because it gave me a chance to meet a LOT of great people. And for that, I am ever grateful.
I strongly agree with Sith Darth Moose’s suggestions, especially the sorting feature. For one, it’d be a lot easier to keep tabs on “impostors”, so to speak. Many of us have had horrible experiences with people posing to be us. Even if they are intercepted by our friends, who can tell after a few many Freudian slips if nothing else, it does affect us. GI informed me about the registration of names, speeding that up surely would help.
As for the language aspect- English is universal. I’m of Indian origin, and I completely agree. There’s an Indian chatters room, where these people are free to (mis)use their languages, but in the general chat room, it’s nothing short of annoying, infuriating even. Not many of us like seeing the language of our country of origin (or even the country we live in) used in such a vulgar/repulsive manner.
We need a way of the room being regulated when the mods aren’t on. I have no suggestions on how, but the spamming, the number of fakes, this may be the internet, but it DOES affect us psychologically and emotionally as well (and I’m not speaking just for myself).
I must make a mention of the threats some of the girls have been receiving- sexual assault, rape. Especially in the languages, translated by third persons, making it that much harder for mods to regulate. The mods should be empowered to kick anyone who violates the same.
Two more suggestions:
1. Permanent blocks.
2. Anyone who violates the PM rules- kicked.
Furthermore, I must commend you mods on your work. It’s appreciative that you’re all so approachable, and listen, and make this place better. Also, on behalf of all the dumbfuck Indians (apologies for being so explicit), I apologise. Most of you know not all of us are like that, but it saddens me that so many are.
Gothic Angel (Jaye)
And also, on behalf of darkbrowelf
Firstly I want to thank Steve again for not only making the chat room for us, but also for allowing feedback and suggestions. As a fairly “new” reg of just 4 months or so I don’t know what the site looked like before, but I really love this chat room and feel very much at home on it.
The things at the top of my “wish list” are definitely the ability to register names and protect avatars. I’ve been been a victim of someone using both my name and my avatar and also have had fairly unpleasant experiences with people masquerading as friends, using their nicknames and sometimes avatars.
I also strongly agree with Moose’s suggestion with regards to the tabs at the top more strongly emphasising the rules, etiquette etc. That is one of the hardest things about being on the site, the constant abuse of the rules and etiquette guidelines, the extra work the moderators have to do and the stress some of the comments have on regular users.
I also found the list comments made by Moose to be very interesting. I have been in the room when people have been accidentally “kicked”, and I’m sure it’s upsetting to not only the person accidentally kicked as well as the moderator who did it because the list moved so quickly. I wasn’t aware of the previous “system”, but it definitely sounded like it had some merit.
It would also be nice to be able to differentiate the text a bit more that shows people coming and going FROM the custom actions, for example ….. Girl♥Interrupted thinks she loves this sex chat site! (when I type : or /me) looks the same as Girl♥Interrupted joined the room apart from italics. Occasionally if the site is busy I turn the comings and goings off, but it still would be nice if the custom actions showed up a little more clearly.
My last thought is a very personal one, but I have never enjoyed the fact there is a “Family Fun Room”, which in effect is room allowing incest discussion/role play. I guess it is a combination of personal beliefs and also awareness of the laws in the country I live in that shapes this belief. As I said, a very personal thought.
So thanks again to Steve, all the wonderful mods and regs who have made this site so much fun. I can’t wait to see how it evolves over time! Sexy, safe and fun times for all!
Girl♥Interrupted
Thanks for the excellent feedback GI. We will be working to make some of these things a reality soon, and even more later in the year. Hearing what is important to the users helps us focus. This place has been evolving quite a bit, and mainly because of the feedback that has been offered by cool people like you who take the time to help us make it better. I did a post about the edgy chat rooms (fm fun, etc) over here for some details on that situation. I hope that explains a bit why we added that, which was to lessen the user created rooms with harsher terms. I may need to update that post to explain that further.
Anyway, thanks so much for chiming in – it’s a big help and motivation.
Hellllooooo Crazzzzzzy Lobbbbbby Dwellllerrrrrrsssss….
Let me start by saying that this Chat Room is by far the Best One on The Internet. I think it is a Tribute to ALL of us that use and enjoy this room. I would like to take time to thank Nash for Creating this room, The Moderators that do a fantastic job, Namely, FasCat, Big Tex, Tastelicious, AngieK, and Kinkstress, and the “Regular Users”, who always make the room an Upbeat, Jovial, and Sexy place to relax and chat. I always look forward to getting home from work every night and getting on-line with My Mangy 17 year old Hound, Lita, and coming in here to “Graze” and see what is happening in all of your lives.
Now, for the Meat and Potatoes, so to speak. No matter how good something is, it can always be improved. I have some suggestions that I think could improve our room, and I will lay them down here now.
First, I think the List to the Right of the Chat Room that shows all the people that are in the room should not be alphabetized. I know what you are thinking…What does it matter if the list is alphabetized or not. Well, in the old Chat Room, the list was done by amount of time spent in the room. At the top of the list were the people that had been in the room the longest. All the people that were entering the room would start out at the bottom of the list. This is important because whenever someone enters the room at the present time, the list “Shifts” to allow that person to be placed alphabetically in the room. In the old room, in over a years time, I was only booted out of the room 1 time from the list “Shifting”. Under this new format, I have already been booted 2 times because of the list “Shifting”, and I am sure it will happen again. If the list is done via the old way, people that spend a lot of time in the room will move to the top, making the top to middle part of the list very stable. The Moderators can then concentrate their efforts on the bottom half of the list. Generally speaking, if a person makes it to the top half of the list, he or she is not posing any problems. I think the Moderators of the Room should be at the Top of the List at all times. Then, Users will know who The Moderators are if they happen to have an issue. When someone is “Away”, they go to the bottom of the list and stay there, Moderators included. This would give them flexibility to catch people incognito so to speak if need be.
My next suggestion is to have Tabs at the top of the room that open up for 4 Categories…Rules, Etiquette, Guidelines, and Names not Allowed. I think they should go next to the Doorway Tab to other rooms, and I think they should look a lot like the Doorway Tab. When a User presses the DoorWay Tab, a Box opens up, giving the User a list of rooms that are available for them to enter. I think these 4 Tabs could be used the same way. At present, we only have 4 Rules of Etiquette, 11 Rules of the Room, 9 Guidelines, and even though there are many Names in the Names not allowed part, they do not take up much space. I think having these Tabs readily available could take away many of the issues before they become problems. When a Moderator tells a User, Read the Rules and they press the Rules Tab at the side, the User is re-directed to the Rules of the Room. After reading the rules, that person then has to log back in to the Chat area. Or, the User has to open a new Tab in their browser to Read the Rules. Either way, a Tab key at the top would be quicker and easier, in my Opinion.
I have one final Suggestion, and it may not be too popular with people, but I feel someone has to bring it up, and I will do so here. I think that English should be the ONLY language spoken in the Lobby. Now, I know that we have Users from all over the world, and I think that is one of the Beauties of the Room. Also, I know that in our current Age, it is not the most “Politically Correct” suggestion either. But, I feel it has to be said, and I have Never been one to care about what is “Politically Correct”, so I have said it. If people want to speak their native tongue to others, they have the option of doing so in private, or making their own room to do so. Since The Moderators all speak English and the Designer of the Room speaks English, then We should all speak English in the open Lobby. However, I do think this brings up another issue…Should this suggestion be put in the Etiquette part or the Rules part? This is a really good question. I tend to think that it should be put under the Etiquette Tab. It is my understanding that The Moderators have descretion on things of Etiquette, meaning that there is some Gray area to deal with, where as in the Rules part, it is Black and White. For Example, what if someone has a question about what a word means in a different language? I would think that a Moderator would not Boot someone for answering. It would be up to the Moderator to use some judgement in that case, which I think is important and it brings me to the Conclusion of this Thread.
In Closing, I am the Owner of a Restaurant, and I have Managers (Moderators) that work for me. I tell them all the time that they have the right to make decisions, and they have the right to be Wrong…It is all part of being in charge. Mistakes are sometimes made, and The Moderators have the right to make mistakes…that is why they are in charge. If a mistake is made by one of my Managers, I sit them down and discuss it with them in Private, and I assume that also happens on this site. I do not allow my Employees to be Critical of my Managers in Public…if they have an issue, they speak directly to that Manager in Private…if they still have an issue, then they can come to me. I think it should be the same way here. Users should not be allowed to Publically defy or question a Moderators decision. If a user has a problem with a Moderator, they need to take it up with that Moderator in Private. If too many mistakes are made by a Manager of mine , then they are fired…I would think the same thing would happen here as well…It is the only way to operate with some form of Decorum.
I thank all of you for reading all of this…I know it is somewhat long. However, I Truly care about this room and many of the people that come in it, Regular Users and New Users alike. I just want everyone that comes to chat to have a Positive Experience in here and hopefully they will want to come back again and again. I will see all of you soon and save a “Grazing Patch” for me.
Sith Lord Darth Moose or Master Jedi Moose
Wow, really great feedback, seriously appreciated!
Some great ideas there Moose
Hey, Moose,
I just now got through your post. I appreciate you taking the time to post a very insightful post. There are the kinds of things I LOVE to see from users.
The only comment I have is the issue of the alpha list if users. I find this truly makes my life easier as a mod, far less scrolling up and down the list to find “that” guy. But, I can see the value of the time based ordering as well. Myabe a hybrid? Something like breaking the list into 3-5 time based categories with each section sorted by alpha? Nash, would this be a big pain to implement? I can do it in PERL, if I am handed a list of users and log in times. Actually, quite easy to implement if you can pass me an array of users/time.
Thanks,
BigTex
I also wonder, moose and many others may not be aware that there is two different list sorting options. So it is not always alpha sorted. It does have a kind of groups sort / mods in one group for example. I really want to get more of our forums integration done to see how that affects the user groups showing.
We MAY have it so all the registered members show in a block, mods in another block, non-registered in another. I know the time based thing was fun for everyone to joke about who was on top of who, and the bragging rights of the longest online users was cool too. I will keep this in mind after the next update to see what we can do for further options.
Great feedback Moose, and I stand behind a lot of what you say about the primary language being english, there has been many times that someone will say that another using is being abusive in another language, and the moderators being the thoughtful people they are usually believe them because they don’t know what was said and the complaint was made, but more than once the complainer was lying. Also the moderators do not speak Hindi, Russian and Korean fluently and can not determine whether or not the user is trolling for young girls or if it is a minor. There have been graciously provided rooms for India and now for Australia and perhaps maintaining an english only Lobby with the courtesy of them being allowed to speak their native languages in their designated rooms, would make for a reasonable give-take option.
Also is it possible to make the door to the other rooms bigger??? I know some people aren’t all that bright, but there is constantly people asking how to change rooms, it needs to be closer to dummy proof.
And also there has once again been an imposter or two roaming the Lobby and perhaps an ettiquette guideline should be made concerning this, there is a difference between impersonation and coincidence, I’ll use a recent example, a new user with the name skip was coming in, the regs all greeted him until they realized it was not the usual skip that comes to the room, once the new user realized he was using a reg’s name he politely switched it to ” nottheskipyouthink” but on the other hand a user came in as sithlorddarthmoose and was not the reg. Obviously this was an impersonation versus a coincidence. I know wording a ettiquette example would be difficult for that, but I also am in favour of having the option to ” register” or nicknames as we do on the forums.
And i do agree that more moderators are needed, but only one maybe 2 need to be “active” mods at a time to help stop accidental kicks and double warnings and the like. I also agree that Moose would make an excellent moderator and I can say that honestly because I have been here….way too long… and I have seen what makes a good mod and who would fall prone to ego.
This has turned from an agreeable comment to short novel. Oh well
Love you guys muchly
The one and only
Boots
I think the biggest feature you could bring to this site is to allow people to register there names..with a password… and allowing them to have a friends list and ignore list…because menny people to come to the site day after day and become close with others and having an easy way to stay incontact seeing when the persons online or what room they are in would probaly be a cool feature i know i have talked about it with a few people and they really like the idea.. there isent menny chat rooms with that and it would make yours stand out among the rest even more probaly brining more users etc but…idk maybe you guys cant do that idk how it works up there in ur offices haha
and i should have added that…the register thing it would help ppl know who there talking to a little bit better..for those willing to give out some personal info but it should not be mandatory on how detailed they fill it out if it all
..
It is always a “Rule of the thumb”…moderators should be of mature thinking. Knowing all the rules isn’t enough. Moderators must possess good judgement as to when to take steps and when to hold back. Someone who is neutral and doesn’t favor friends. Just noticed that the occurrence of arguments were between friends of individual mods.
As to the users, it doesn’t matter where you are from or of what race you are, just that I have noticed that most of the spammers are from that particular place (sorry…I am not saying which country though. But, people who are observant might have same thought as I am). Spammers are so annoying and doesn’t cultivate good chat room atmosphere. Please, refrain from spamming.
Thanks to Steve for all the hard work to make the Sex Chat site even better. And, to all those moderators who are doing their job to the real essence of the word “moderator” … thank you.
Love the site.. all the responses were good. keep up the good work…
ok i just thought of something else, i know that the rules says this as i quote “g) The word Boy in a nick is highly discouraged. Either drop boy from your
nick name or add your age to the nick name.”. i been seeing alot of guys using this yet they are over 18, should we regs AND mods warn them to add a number to their age?
i meant their age to their name! *facepalms for her error*
alright alright alright. rules are good………………… BUT as i told nash before we kinda need a few more mods, i already explain the situation to Nash. other than thank THANKIES mods for keeping the site safe from minors *gives ALL the mods two thumbs up* keeps up the good work and see ya in the lobby *grins*
Just because I love adding more work for you guys…..would it be possible to highlight the adjusted area’s and parts so those of us who have memorized the rules can see the differences??? *bats eyelashes and looks cute*
That would be useful and btw Boots you always look cute, I would try batting my eyelashes but somehow I don’t think it would work as well, and with the post by Dark Angel we could do with more Mods, but great work guys
Hey, Steve,
Is there a way to automatically setup a multi-user PM window? My thoughts are that when a mod logs in as mod we would have a PM window open that has all mods currently logged in in that PM session. This could allow us all to better coordinate modding. Just a thought.
Hi all, first of all let me just say that I personally think that all the Moderators do a great duty to the room in what is after all in their spare time, so thanks, of course it’s natural mistakes will be made, but definite no complainants. Anyway I love the community of the room and I personally adore the idea of sharing the recipes and hope in the future to maybe do something else along those lines. I was also thinking, I know on the log in screen their is a link to the rules and etiquette but maybe their should be the main rules actually on the page, just to make them clear, also maybe like in the old room where the sever used to auto-kick people using the same post about five times in a row, maybe that could be brought back, anyway thanks Nash and all the moderators for making the site safer and thanks for everyone for making this site a great place.
I am in the process of making a quick how to video that will show in the chat room page, and putting some of the main rules and etiquette issues in it. Now it’s time to decide which rules are the main rules to include. I am sure that we’ll end up making a v2 and version 3 at some point. So any feedback now is good, and feedback after the launch as well.
New Rules Page
Please review and provide your feedback to these rules. Thank you in advance for your time and comments.
The following are the rules governing the use of the free chat room. These are firm and fairly fixed. However, these are NOT cast in stone kind of things. We do want feedback from you all. We will take feedback into consideration. However, some rules are NOT open for discussion. These include, but are not limited to, minors in the room, pedophiles, and commercial URLs.
The first few chat room rules
1) No one under 18
2) No flooding the room with the same comment over and over
3) Do not post phone numbers, email addresses, or IM (Instant message,
like yahoo, msn, skype, etc) in the chat rooms
4) Do not post commercial urls, or urls to other chat services, or porn sites.
5) No cam invites
6) Do not use our chat rooms to promote any commercial or affiliated
service, or web site.
7) No hate speech, no religious talk, and no politics in the lobby.
that mod to discuss the concern. However, posting comments about
the mod in the main room is HIGHLY discouraged and result in your
being kicked from the room and possibly banned.
9) Some conversation styles are not appropriate for the lobby or public rooms.
If you and someone else decide that you both want to engage in conversation
that some may find offensive, then take your conversation to private messages
or another chat room within the system. You can find other rooms by clicking
on the rooms tab, and you can also create you own room, and you can password
protect it if you want to limit the conversation to certain people that you
pm the password to.
10) Arguing with other users to the point of being a distraction will not be
tolerated. Healthy debate is fine, belligerence is crossing the line.
If this occurs, the mods will ask all parties to take it into PM, a private
room, or to use the ignore feature. Continued arguing beyond this point
will not be tolerated.
11) While we have a general policy about user names that is fairly broad, we do
do have a solid rule about using moderator login names. Most of the moderators
use the same name. If a user logins with a moderator name and it is determined
that that user is NOT a moderator, he/she will be asked to log out and change
that name. If that warning is not honored the user will be kicked from the room.
If they persist in using a moderator’s name, they will be banned.
Additionally, we do have user name rules. These are below.
NEED TO ADD THE NAME GUIDELINES BELOW THIS.
a) Many people find conversations in chat room faster and easier when the
screen name chosen has additional asl info – like: Sam-25m or Jenny31Lez
or Mel29-f-CA – it’s not necessary, but helpful to have some additional
info in your screen name.
b) No IM IDs (yahoo, msn, skype, etc) or e-mail addresses
c) No phone numbers
d) No URL based names
e) Any nickname with incest, rape, or pedophile in it or any variation
deemed unsuitable by the moderator(s).
BTW, I know we are rethinking several of these. We need to iron
this out in the near future.
f) Further, the use of cam or webcam or camera is not allowed in nick names.
This is for your protection from web cam scammers. If a nick name contains
cam or some derivative of that, be aware that that individual could be a
web cam scammer. DO NOT GIVE ANYONE YOU MEET ONLINE A CREDIT CARD NUMBER!!!
g) The word Boy in a nick is highly discouraged. Either drop boy from your
nick name or add your age to the nick name.
h) unacceptable-sex-chat-screen-names
———————————-
This web site follows the ASACP guidelines for unacctable terms – using
any of the terms listed above and in the following table in your screen
name or lobby conversations will get you permanently banned from using
this web site.
spam must be stopped!!!!
Hey, Tauren,
Rule #2 is meant to cover the spamming. Most folks here call spamming flooding. I will look at making that rule clearer. Thanks for the time you spent to review the rules. I appreciate it.
Yeah, I think a lot of people are calling flooding, spamming. I generally consider spamming as a commercial url like come see my webcam live at spam dot com. I consider it more flooding when you post the same thing over and over again.
Now you could be flooding the room with a question, or asking to join a room or pm, and some people could say he “quit spamming for your new private chat room” – but as far as the overall site in general, I normally call commercial stuff spam.
We do need to highlight, perhaps with the video, that flooding the room over and over is a waste of everyone’s screen space and a viable “kicked from the chat room offense”. Or something like that.
New Etiquette Page for review.
Below is the Etiquette page as it now stands. Please review and make constructive comments. Feedback is appreciated. I do hope the formatting is not too buggered up in the post.
Chat Room Etiquette
——————-
The following are guidelines for interaction with others in the chat room. These are guidelines to polite and proper means of enjoying the chat room. However, repeated abuse or violations of these guidelines can lead to your being kicked from the room or banned. We ask that all users interact in accordance to these guidelines. Your cooperation is appreciated by all users and the moderators. If you have any questions feel free to ask our moderators, they will be more than happy to answer your questions.
1) NO USING ALL CAPITOL LETTERS – unless sparingly and necessary. Users who
abuse this will be warned. If the behavior persists you will be kicked
from the site.
2) Ask someone in the public chat if they want to private message, hitting
them up with pm’s when not already being invited is bad manners to most
people. If a user persists with uninvited PMs he or she will be warned.
If warnings are ignored, you can be kicked or even banned from the room.
3) Be nice to the moderators, mods are busy people, and we have a lot on our plates.
We can easily misunderstand something someone is typing, so be polite. We can
kick out and permanently ban you and your ip address just for taking up our time,
being rude and short with the mods can make that happen faster.
4) Be defensive- I set my settings to auto-open pms (private messages) in a new
window, you may want to (especially females) set your settings to auto-ignore
all pms. You can tell people that you have your settings this way – so pming
you without asking first is just a waste of time for them.
If people ask for your IM addy, (yahoo, MSN, skype, etc) or email address,
beware that they could be trying to get info to sell to spammers. We have
caught a few shady people asking us to add them on yahoo or MSN, only to
later ask that we go to a website url to watch their “live sex cam” –
clicking on unkown links can put your computer in harms way. Watch out for
viruses and malware. I do not reccomend anyone give out their email or IM
addys to people, it’s an easy way to end up on a spam list that gets resold
to other spammers.
Use the ignore button! If you don’t like what someone is saying in the lobby,
or to you, click their name and click the ignore button! Poof- they are gone!
If anyone tries to solicit you to engage in another commercial sex chat site,
or try to get you send money or credit card information, send a private message
to one of the moderators if they are in the room and let them know. We don’t
want our users to get scammed, spammed, or solicited for commercial anything
in our free chat rooms, so help us help you, and help others, by reporting
any of that activity.
5) We do have a very active community of regular users (regs) in the room. In
in most cases our regs are good folks. However, if you are new to the site,
take your time in getting the regs. Like all social interactions, it takes
time for others to get to know you and vice versa. Enjoy the banter, enjoy
the interchanges and sometimes crazy humor and you will be fine. Our regs
are mostly friendly people who are willing to help you out. Be patient and
find your place in the room if you want more enjoyable, friendly experience.
Good post
I think posting warnings about viruses and malware was a good idea; a lot of people don’t think about them.
Hey, Nash, Thom, and All Users,
In response to Thom’s idea of opening a thread for the purpose of gathering input from ALL users about what they want to room to be, its sense of community, I am opening this thread. Steve, I hope you can move this to a separate page so we can focus on this discussion. If so, can you put a link on the chat room page to said page?
Ok, all, I am going to purposely NOT participate in the discussion, this if for the USERS to have an opportunity to provide THEIR input on what THEY desire for the room, the direction they want to see the room go in. What kind of a community they want to build.
So, fire away folks! Start providing YOUR ideas. This is your chance to be heard. I doubt we will be able to please everyone over everything, but this is your chance to state what YOU want. I hope you all are willing to share your ideas. Lets do keep the discussion focused and civil. Refrain from less than civil discourse. You know, no “That is the dumbest thing I have ever read” kind of posts. Just post your ideas and others should be willing to give constructive feedback or post other ideas.
Thanks in advance for your time. We do appreciate that you are taking time to share with us all.
I think this may be the best place for the suggestions. Easy comment box here at the bottom of the page. Easy to reply directly to someone else’s comment (up to about 5 reply threads I think). This is also the page that is already titles “Sex chat site suggestions“.
We may add another separate page for perhaps criticisms and grievances against the mods and admins to another page perhaps.
Hey, Steve,
I agree with you on the mods complaint page. I think we need JUST for that, beyond the “I Have Been Banned” page. And adding this new page as a link to the room page is a good idea as well. We should make it easier for users to get to a complaint page. I know we will get some less than reasonable complaints, but having some where for users to file complaints is a great idea and we WILL get valid complaints and that is needed. As I have said before, I know I make my share of mistakes.
Hi….contact me *(addy edited by admin as to not show publicly)*
Are you requesting contact for a site suggestion? Or are you thinking this is a chat area?
why no couples sites
That is a great question / suggestion! We should add some more couples areas to the site. I imagine that a couples area in the forums, and perhaps a couples chat room would be great additions to the site. Did you have another idea for couples as well?
I have seen couples in the chat room on many occasions. So there certainly are plenty of couples around here looking for other couples, or looking for another girl or guy to join them for some erotic fantasies. We may be adding to our “peeps” section which will give people a facebook-like profile system and couples will be able to setup profiles there as well. Of course we already have the profile ability in the forums section – we just need to make a video showing how to use them I guess. If you’d like to elaborate on other things we can do for couples, please let me know!
I think Fascat needs to be banned as a mod, he seems to have a total power trip. I seen him permanently ban someone just for asking him a question and when he did not answer but gave the guy the run around he was banned. Seemed like complete bs to me
I agree completey with the above post, hsg would make a great mod, I have been on at times and she has gotten abuse just by trying to uphold the rules, I think this site is really good 95% of the time,
I have made lots of new friend in the short amout of time I have been here (middle of May this year).
hi Admin people. I would like to suggest that next time you are looking for a moderator, you may wish to consider hsg. She is often in, with no official moderators, she knows the rules, and explains them to people quite eloquently. She is often warning people that their behaviour is contravening the rules. Though with no official moderator in, and her with no power she is left to be abused by those who wish to ruin things for others, while all she is doing is trying to make the whole chat experience more enjoyable for everyone else. Thanks for listening, and I hope giving this your consideration.
hello everyone ,its awesome
I have a suggestion… don’t ban people for doing absolutely nothing. I’ve been banned, have no idea why, and cannot find an email for a moderator anywhere.
sometimes I see a warning sign when I click on a particular name. Am I chatting inappropriately or aqm I clicking on a name that heeds a warning. I enjoy the site and want to follow all rules. Please explain this to me at ur earliest convenience. Thanks
i wanna be fucked now
i want to sex chat textly only
Ok lets text sex chat
ill gladly fuck you
i feel horny i wanna flirt
i feel so horny..i wanna flirt
ok im game
hello everyone…..i’m sure great things are comming so hang in there and play nice **smiles***