Moderator Complaints

Have a complaint about one of the chat room moderators? Or forums moderators?

If you want to make a complaint about one of the moderators, you can email the site admins; jmes and nash read the emails sent to adultwebmasteronline atthe yahoo dot com - if you ask that your information be kept private between you want the site admins, when you email, then it will be.

You can also submit a comment in the form below, and you can choose to use your real screen name or just type anonymous. All replies made here on this page will be first sent to moderation by the site admin, "Nash", unless you have already posted a comment (and had that comment approved) somewhere else on the blog. If you already had another comment "approved" on one of the blog pages, then your comment left below in the reply field will be posted immediately, and all the world will be able to see your comment, and the name you have typed into the name box.

Only the site admin "Nash" will be able to see the email addy  you enter into the field below, and your associated ip addy. This info is to keep spammers out of the comments, and provides a way to show gravatars or globally recognized avatars next to your comments.

You could type in a fake email addy - just know that our auto-spam reduction system may auto-delete certain messages (comments that have lots of links or talk about erectile dysfunction drugs, etc).

More about the mods

Every one of our chat rooms mods has volunteered to help make the chat room a better place. They are taking time out of play time to help the room and everyone in it experience a happy neutral place to enjoy mature conversations. Every one of our mods has read a very detailed set of "mod rules" - and we constantly discuss with each other things that come up, and what to do in edgy situations. Every single one of us is prone to make a mistake once in a while, and some of the mods may interpret the rules in harsher way than others, and act accordingly.

It is a very tough job to defend free speech, even when you are not a fan of some of the things that other people way want to express. Every day we are put in situations when personally we'd like to just kick and ban someone for being an idiot, rude, or taking their conversations to the edge of indecency. We constantly deal with spammers, mean people, user complaints, chat bots, and all kinds of ridiculous things, the last thing we need is someone who comes into the room, breaks a small rule, and then gets all bent out of shape about being asked to comply.

I have had users that made small mistakes end up causing big disruptions for the room. If you message me and say, "hey I only used all caps twice, I shouldn't be permanently banned for that, your mod is abusing me just to make his or her friends happy, blah blah blah." You know what probably happened? Most likely a small mistake was made, you were asked to stop, and the came back with an attitude problem. Now as moderators, we are used to that to some degree, and we know what it's like, heck, most of us have been on the other side of the coin. But it's the ensuing drama that generally gets people kicked or banned.

I back up our mods decisions most of the time. I do not expect to get the whole story from you or anyone else, if you message me about a problem, I will listen, but don't think that I am going to believe that you have the whole story. This is a free service, if you don't like the way it is moderated, if you don't want to play by the simple rules, then don't, you can always go chat somewhere else. You don't have to use our site.

Also realize that with text chat it may be easy for me to read something and take it a different way than it was intended. The same goes the other way. I might ask something and in my mind I am saying it politely, but you might read the text and thing that I am coming off mean or demanding. Every day all over the world, through chat rooms, text messages, pms, emails, people are reading (hearing) things one way, when the intention (writing) was meant another way. It happens. Even with the "LOLs" and smiley faces we all use, it is really easy to take something the wrong way on all sides of a text conversation.

Understand that every moderator is taking time away from their play time to help the community here, and please understand it is a mostly a thankless (and unpaid / volunteer) job, and we deal with many people who don't know all the rules. We also deal with all kinds of crap behind the scenes that you will hopefully never have to worry about. Respect the mods, play well with others, and have fun. Be glad you get to chat away and don't have to deal with all the other crap.

A note about user created chat rooms, room operators and mods

If you enter a user created chat room, there may be a username in purple, and that user will have the some of the abilities of a site moderator, including the ability to kick you from their chat room. User created room mods do not necessarily have to follow the rules and guidelines that are established for our official site admins and moderators. If a user created room mod decides to kick you for whatever reason, please do not complain to the site admins, as we do not have any control over user created room moderators. Our official site admins and moderators may choose to enter user created rooms on occasion, and their names may appear normal, in red, yellow, purple or simply be invisible. As outlined on our privacy policy, site admins and moderators may on occasion also enter password protected rooms as well. We highly suggest you read and understand the privacy policy information, and check for updates when you use our site.

This page will be updated, have more info to post on other subjects! comment or email away of you have any complaints.




  1. Adding here a note that an anonymous user has chimed in about recent changes to the screen names and discussions we are allowing in some of the main rooms. For those who follow the comments on this page, it may be interesting to see the complaint and the answers to the issue of telling users more often these days to switch rooms based upon screen names and or discussions.

    Part of the discussion is here:
    (you can scroll up or down to read more of it)

  2. Nash Bitch in Boots has gone insane with power, she’s booting everyone from the family fun that has dom or sub in their name. She’s ruining the chatroom for everyone.

    • Anonymous – we are updating the site rules and content guidelines. Perhaps there is some confusion about this with the users and with the mods during this transition. I will look into this.

      • Annonymous, Actually, I didn’t boot and kick everyone, and I am sure the other 88 people would agree there was a discussion, an education to the rules and the changes, fetishes to the appropriate rooms, mainstream vs non mainstream fetishes. The two people that had the most issue with it where Abuser, who I tried to discuss in pm but he decided to take to the main room so many people got to comment. This user chose to leave but then came back as Annoyed as fuck and decided to be a little abusive. So that was when he got kicked for 30 minutes. The other person was Sadistic Master, who also upset with this after he requested pm with a bad bad man, and yes there was one woman , who asked for dom/sub roleplay. She was told to ask for her particular fetish in the Dom/Sub room or the bdsm room. She said ok and no kick or ban was involved. I understand that right now the sub/dom room being new is not being utilized as much as it can be, but this is why we are educating people. I also know , lets see submom was not kicked, DomDad was not kicked. If the Masters/Mistress/Dom/Domme/Sub/Slave/cuck/humiliation requesters and names would use the rooms with those themes, you will find more people with like fetish/likes, will go there too.
        In fact many users were adding comments and suggestions to all.

        • f wine is sigling out people shes not happy with
          she was a good mod a year ago
          now is a onesided mod
          im in the family room and she told me i was in the wrong room
          the she male and lil girl are allowed to stay because they where chattin freinds
          watch her nash you know what to do you have always been a fare guy its a hard job you do judge and jury just want your site to stay up and stronge you rock

          • michelle(xdress) – we are in the process of updating our rules and content guidelines. During this time there may be some confusion with the users and the mods. Bare with everyone as we go through this process. Chat room rules and etiquette – updates on going as we speak.

            • michelle I requested that you not ask for your particular fetish/rp in the family room. Your fetish is more appropriate to the BDSM and the new Dom/Sub room. The only thing I did was educate you. I did not ask you to leave the room.

        • as a text only site, the only piece of individualism a user of this site has, is the user name, how dare you say a person with one name or another should not be in a particular room, but go to another room instead. the last time i read or watched this type of segregation, it was called aparthied. dont even think of trying to say its completely different, because it is NOT. if you are allowed to retain your position as a site moderator, then i will have lost all faith in Nash and this site, the comparison this has to racist/nazi policies truly frightens me and disgusts me. you are a BIGOT

          • @anonymous – I must disagree when you say that the only individualism someone has in the text chat rooms is their screen name. There are many other factors, spelling, choice of words, font color, and overall personality in what is said tend to be the things that come to mind first.

            It has been a part of our rules for years that certain screen names are not allowed in certain rooms, and some screen names are not allowed in the system at all. Over the past year people have been pushing a bit further with these limits in some rooms, and so we have now made more system generated rooms to accommodate some of the more recently popular screen names and discussions.

            The fact that you are trying to associate this with apartheid shows your ignorance of our policies, or ignorance of the seriousness of the thing in which you try to relate this to. We do not try to segregate people based upon their race. However if you come into the lobby with a name like “AsianGuyWantToMouthRapeYourWorthless” – you will likely be told to change rooms or change your name. If you think that is because of the racial statement then you are wrong.

            Similar discussion of this issue was brought up on our recent blog post about this, and I suggest your read the information posted in this reply here, and this reply here as well.

            If you think someone was asked to change rooms simply because they had a name that had a race in it, then by all means tell me what that name was. However I feel sure that Fine Wine and the other moderators are not telling people to change rooms based upon race statements in screen names, it is more likely that there was something else in the screen name, or subsequent discussions that would make it an issue in which a moderator would suggest a more appropriate room for that particular person.

            • you so totally missed the point

            • @anonymous – if I missed the point, then I wonder, did you read the two comments I linked to in your reply? Perhaps you can provide specifics that will show some details so I can understand your point.

          • haha props to you rosa parks! this is just like refusing to sit at the back of the bus… i bet.

  3. The mysterious kicks keep on kicking .. I was having a discussion with some chatter about how you can’t have sex online, that I’m not a prude, that you can say bad wurds on here and that in my opinion it’s not a sex site .. and without any warning from anyone, I get kicked

    Come on, now

    • Miss A – I am unsure of the details on this. I assume that someone will send me some detailed info. I do not see your name on the ban list at this time.

      • It was a kick, not a ban, I just don’t who did it or why, maybe it was by mistake

        • Miss A – I have not heard anything about this (yet) – so it could be an accident kick – it happens when the list moves while modding quite frequently. Normally people will get some warnings or other messages from the mods before being purposefully kicked to the rules page.

        • Nash it was a kick. Miss A , even when a moderator is not on site, you still can’t bash the site or the mods. Just because you are an admin at another site, does not give you the right to bash. Yes, the other user was starting on how it’s a sex site and those who don’t sex chat should not be on the site. He was told to move on. You could have used your block button, but chose to instead , bash the site. And it sounds like since you are an admin at another site, and they have rules you have to follow, we also have rules , that you need to follow.

          • I was not in any way bashing the site. That is a highly subjective conclusion. I was simply saying that this is not a sex site, no “sex chat” sites are in fact sex sites, that is my opinion and I could have presented reasonings behind that. It’s not bashing the site, after all, I’m here

            At any rate, I failed to see any waring and/or reason for the kick. That is the main point really. Not only different definitions of what a sex site is but what bashing is

            Mods should present the chatter with a direct link to the rule that they are in breach of so that the chatter can understand it and have a reference point. Without that, it is indeed very subjective

            • Miss A, just a suggestion here since your problem seems to be your mouth. Why don’t you sign in, have a good time & keep your mouth shut and your opinions to yourself.

              Everyone may be entitled to their opinion but there is a proper time and place to voice it and I’m sorry but you constantly fighting the rules and Mods to get your own way is grating on my nerves… You are one of the few people I automatically block when I sign in to the site.

              You say you are a Mod on your own site? I certainly find that hard to believe but assuming it’s true, go voice your opinion over there. You are not a Mod here (thank the Gods) and you of all people telling Nash and others how to run this site does nothing but annoy everyone and make you look stupid.

              Sorry Nash, I couldn’t shut up anymore…

            • It is indeed possible to say things in text chat world and have them mean one thing your head while you are writing them, all the while 5 other people are reading it differently in their head. Sounds like this may be one of those situations.

            • Miss_A, you have received the last warning you are “entitled” to here by me the other day. No mod has to give you any further warnings. All we ask is for you to comply with the rules you seem to continue to ignore. Further violations will more than likely result in your being permanently banned from the site and services.

            • Big Tex (since I wasn’t able to directly reply to your post) your own admin thinks that that there may have been a mistake here, a misinterpretation of what I said in chat, isn’t that good enough for you? You can’t just say “say something we don’t like and we’ll ban you” I’m pretty sure that is against your etiquette as a mod. You weren’t there, you don’t know the situation, I think it’s already been worked out. Is it your place to simply ignore what Nash said?

            • Ok, maybe your reading comprehension needs a bit of a refreshing. The only point I was making was in regards to your statement (copied from your post):

              “At any rate, I failed to see any waring and/or reason for the kick. That is the main point really.”

              You have received a FINAL BAN WARNING. Hence, no further warnings are required to be given to you by anyone. Is that clear enough?

  4. Nash- We need a Mod online and on the site…something’s weird happening in the lobby among-st a couple of the regs that involve their name…can someone please look into it? :)

    • annabel – I just popped in there to see what was happening.. but I guess it a bit too late to see what was happening.

      • only a little late, i tried to follow the impostor but i lost them…it was confusing to see two names of a regular member online at the same time…and both trying to maintain a conversation with me. It has been happening for a few weeks now one name online at the same time…and at times at different times too…i wish there was a way to put a stop to it.

  5. “things like that” Well, that really narrows it down doesn’t it, that isn’t vague at all lol

    And this constant referral to the rules, you know that is meaningless.

    “Miss A stop saying those things”

    “What things”

    “The things that are against the rules”

    “Which rules”

    “The rules you need to read”

    “I read the rules but I know which ones you think I broke”

    “This is your final warning”

    Yes, that makes total sense

    Nash, if you ever need help setting proper behaviour rules for the site or you need assistance in moderating your mods I will be happy to help, I do have some experience in this.

    Having a lot of rules seems to be the way to go but the problem is, humans do no operate in a rigidly defined way that you can lay such a narrow template over. I think the mods get overwhelmed trying to apply these rigidily linear rules in an environment where people are just responding to one another “on the fly” Falling back on these rules often leaves the mods and the chatters in a grey area

    This is human behaviour. It ain’t easily defined. It requires “wriggle room” both in the rules and the application thereof. You need mods who have the breadth of experience and reading comprehension skills to be able to keep the chat flowing, prevent someone from bothering another and to properly communicate what the purpose of those rules are

    On the site I admin we have a rule of thumb: If someone really really wants to be a mod, they’re probably the wrong person for the “job”

    • what makes you have the expertise and knowledge on who would be a great Mod and who wouldn’t be one for the “job” Miss A…all I’ve seen you do is complain, whine about everything that you deem “wrong” cut some slack for those who Mod respect what they’re doing and provide for all of us and actually appreciate that Nash is making the site available for us all to use and access.

      I have to make a mental note that sometimes you just can’t fix everything….or in some cases…stupid.

  6. I really really don’t want to be on this page but the mod BitTex warned me that was on notice for a perma van and if I once again violated the rules, it would happen

    I asked what rule I had broken and he did not elaborate. I even asked him in pm which is not something I normally do and he told me to bring it here

    I really don’t know what rule I broke on that particular chat and how can I avoid doing so without explanation

    • I did respond to you in PM. I told you the latest issues were:
      1) Fanning the flames / drama
      2) Arguing with the mods

      Funny how you skipped that little detail. Nash, I have the full log for you. let me know if you need it.

      • I never got the pm actually

        My pm’s are usually off. Can you explain what fanning the flames mean? And with whom was I arguing?

        • Ok, help me understand something here. You admitted to PMing me and receiving my directions to bring your comments here in PM. Yet, you did not get the other PMs?

          Nash, this is your’s from here on in. Let me know if you need the entire log.


          • No, I honestly did not get the other pm, I did pm you asking for clarification did you see that one? Something seems to have gone wonky

            So I still don’t understand what is going on

            • After I pm’d you that one time the screen kind of jumped, so I guess something got lost in translation

              But I respectfully would still like an explanation of what I did to warrant being put on notice, or whatever, so I can avoid it in the future, thanks

            • Miss_A – basically a friendly warning that we have discussed some issues in regards to how some of your statements have come across in the chat. Like the comment reply here. The mods and I have discussed some other minor issues, and have agreed that there is no need to again go into warnings or rule clarifications if you should decide to engage in any kind of mod bashing / taunting, fanning the flames of arguments or drama and things like that in the future, it will simply be a permanent ban. These things are clearly outlined in the rules, we have discussed some of these issues with you in the chat rooms and in the discussions here in the blog section, so there should be no confusion. Basically just letting you know that there has been some consensus with the matter.

  7. In the past two days I’ve been banned by Curare for the following offenses:

    Another user told me that she’d tie me up and make me do terrible things, and when I replied “Like work on the Sabbath?” I was banned without warning or notice. This is the same woman that I’ve seen give people with obvious pedophile rp names multiple warnings before booting them. Today she banned me for asking if anyone wanted to play marry, fuck, kill-without explanation again. She quite obviously allows her personal feelings about users to influence her decisions, and the only thing she really cares about is whether users kiss her ass or not. When she’s in a room the chat is either all about her, or she is extremely heavy handed with nitpicking people over minor things like the use of caps. That’s the first thing that ever got me on her shit list, incidentally. I said ONE thing in caps, and when she corrected me I said “OMG these caps nazis are the worst”, not knowing she was a moderator, and was kicked without warning immediately thereafter. I’ve also received multiple pm’s from people that have told me not to cross her as she’s completely unreasonable and only cares about being right. I also took the time after my first ban to speak with her in private, and assured her that I was not intending to prevent anyone else from having fun, but she obviously kept a grudge. The definition of an insecure, overbearing mod who sucks the fun out of everything. I guess I won’t be back after posting this, but hopefully someone will either remove her moderator powers so that others might be able to have some fun.

    • Oh, and one of the users mentioned that when she posts chat logs on here she conveniently removes the context of conversations which would show how unreasonable and arbitrary she actually is.

      • Nash, I have just emailed over the entire log for your review – including the private discussion in PM between myself and this user, after his first kick. The information from today’s ban, is posted in the ban reason area.

        Alicibiades(M), with regard to my posting edited logs in this venue, you are correct. Many times the logs posted here ARE indeed edited to protect the privacy of other users who were not involved in the incident being discussed. Please be assured that the complete logs are ALWAYS available and forwarded to the site owner (Nash) for review at his request.

      • @Alicibiades(M) – I actually ask people to send an edited chat log that highlights the main points in most cases, and I sometimes ask for the complete logs, especially if others chime in and say that things were taken out of or misunderstood / context. I also always take into consideration that anyone sending in chat logs has the opportunity to edit the logs, and so I take each and every one with a grain of salt, whether it comes from a user or a moderator. I generally give others an opportunity to add context and additional information if there is a question about a ban, or questioning a mod’s handling of issues, or something else.

    • @Alicibiades(M) – We make a bit of a distinction here between kicked and banned, but not everyone likely knows this. I think rather than saying you have been banned, that what we would say is that you have been kicked to the rules page. A kick to the rules page will normally auto-expire / release within 24 hours, sometimes within 5-10 minutes. When we talk about being being banned, that is normally a permanent ban from the chat rooms.

      I assume that you understand that talk about Sabbath and similar things in the main system rooms are against the rules at this? A kick to the rules page without warning for certain discussions like religious talk, or things about killing or any number of taboo / banned subjects is not unusual. Sometimes the mods have time to discuss rules with users, sometimes they do not and a kick to the rules page is certainly a form of communication. The rules page information discusses all this. Sometimes warnings and explanations are warranted, sometimes there is not enough time to do so. In some cases a mod attempts to PM someone to tell them things and they do not get the PM, and then a kick to the rules page ensues.

      It is unfortunate that you think one of the mods is using personal feelings about certain subjects in how they handle issues. I will certainly take note of this thought. That is something that is not allowed as per the moderators policies and procedures. In most cases things don’t happen that way, but I can certainly see how some users may think that, even when it is not occurring. When you say one of the mods tries to garner too much attention and wants to make the room all about him / her, this is something that could be seen different ways by different people. Certainly if a lot of people feel this way they will send me notices about this with some chat log examples, and I will look into that further.

      I don’t like mods nitpicking about all caps, there may be a new mod rule that details that further. We had quite a discussion about all CAPS and when people should be warned or made aware of the rules on this a long time ago. We may need to revisit that discussion. Certainly calling the mods caps nazis might get people kicked to the rules page without warning, maybe not. The rules page is an opportunity to learn more about the rules, which includes information about being nice to the moderators, what a moderator is, and more.

      If multiple people are pming you saying that one of the mods is completely unreasonable, I hope that they will also send me messages about this, hopefully with some examples. There are multiple ways to comment here publicly, and / or send me private email messages to consider people’s viewpoints in issues like that.

      Your choice to come back after posting this is up to you. I see that you currently have an auto-expiring time kick in the system that will auto-clear in less than hours, which means you are welcome to use the chat rooms again after that time. Hopefully it is enough time for you to cool down, and anyone else, mods or not to calm down, reassess knowledge of the rules, policies and procedures here.

      • Nash, the joke about religion was an innocent one. If she hadn’t had a bee in her bonnet towards me (which is the sure sign of someone that isn’t fulfilling the role of a moderator, but rather someone intent on protecting THEIR turf) about it in the first place she would have at least given a warning or recognized that nobodies religion was being mocked. What about the marry, fuck, kill game? That’s what I got banned for 24 hours for. What rule did that violate?

        • Alicibiades(M) – I understand how you are seeing the situation. While I will say that certainly it is possible that when a human moderator gets annoyed by someone, then that person would be a stronger blip on their radar, our moderators have some pretty strict procedures they must follow. One way to look at it is that someone find you personally annoying and then looks for ways to get you. Another way to look at it, is that someone who starts to be annoying to others in the room may deserve a closer watch to make sure they do not cross a line that overly annoys a bunch of other users.

          Putting this particular situation to the side for a moment, I will say that I myself have a zero tolerance for religious and political talk in the system created rooms. I don’t care if it’s a joke, an innocent joke, or somewhat sinister and nefarious that tried to hide behind a joke. It would not matter if you were the most annoying chatter ever that stirred up a nest of bees in my bonnet, or my long lost soul mate joining me in the lobby. Discussions about politics, religion, and many other subjects are not allowed there. Period.

          Mods do sometimes give warnings and education, but not always. Again it does not matter if religion is mocked or not, promoted or whatever – no religion.

          What about the marry fuck kill. Well the kill part. Our rules clearly state that anything that would be deemed overly taboo for a majority of people in a room does not belong in that room. If you want to talk about marry and kill then you would need to create a room for that. Just as you can not go into the lesbian room and talk about dick, there are no system standard rooms in which a majority of people would not find talk about killing to be overly taboo or offensive.

  8. Here we go again. I think I was banned by Curare (I think that was the mod) due to their lack of reading comprehension. Someone made a comment, I made a word play from that comment, said word play was out of context because I had no idea what the context was. I was warned not to add to the drama. I pointed out I had no idea what the drama was nor did I care. I had no idea of what previous conversations were going on. I was making a pun, probably, word play, it’s what one does with words. Random comments. But of course, the mod in question, so caught up in said drama, could not even appreciate the non sequitor. Out of frustration and probably embaressment, I get banned

    Come on. If someone is a mod in a text based chat site they should have a certain level of reading comprehension, not to mention common sense. And if they are caught up in the drama, they should take a deep breath and realize that not all people give a shit about said dramas. Some people like to keep things light

    And if someone does not immediately “comply” it probably means there was nothing to comply with, or no reason to do so

    If mods can’t keep up with all convo’s perhaps they should reconsider their postion

    Peace out and keep your poutine steamy

    • Nash, I just forwarded the log over to you via email. This is not the first time that this user has been asked to discontinue fueling drama fires in the main Lobby. If, by her own admission, she neither knew nor cared what was happening, then she had no reason to comment as she chose to do – other than to cause disruption and drama, yet again, where none was warranted. Please also know that this was not a timed ban, but a generic kick. She was warned – as was the other user, who was also given a kick for the same reason.

      • Still have no idea what the drama was. Didn’t read it. Don’t care. Riffing is a form of humour where you take a random word someone says and spin a pun or a non sequitor out of it. Simple. I could not stop adding to the drama, because I was not. If one does not understand the context, one should inquire

        May all your fish be wriggly

        • Miss_A: when you’re offending someone that’s when you should speak louder
          Curare (f)™ Ladies and gentlemen, kindly remember that the BLOCK button is your friend. If someone is typing something you do not wish to read, USE IT – and the problem will magically disappear. I promise.
          Curare (f)™ Careful, Miss_A. It would not be wise to fuel the fire here.
          Miss_A puts out the fire with gasoline
          Miss_A: oops
          Miss_A has been warned by Curare (f)™.
          Miss_A: oh come one lol
          Miss_A: I don’t even know what’s going on nor do I care
          Curare (f)™ Miss_A: DO NOT continue the drama. I will not warn again.
          Miss_A: ?
          Miss_A: exactly lol

          The context was perfectly understood. There was no need to enquire. – by either party. Nor was there any frustration, embarrassment, or difficulty with reading comprehension. At least not on my end. Have a good evening.

          • YOU did not understand MY context (or lack of it) that was my point .. and it was just made again. This isn’t about you, you get that right

        • Miss A did I not understand the context the other day when you called all mods humourless sods, all we ask is that you tone down a little and if a mod requests the drama be ceased that instead of adding to it, if you could just think instead of adding to any flames. I for one am getting tired of your disrespect towards the site rules, I believe 4 mods on these complains page have asked the same, next time from me if I see any more of this behaviour your kick will be a timed ban and not just a short reminder to the rules page.


          • I don’t think it’s any attitude towards rules that you have a issue with, is it It’s ok hun, take a deep breath, relax, cut down on the caffeine, be the rock in the stream and understand that the attention you seek is the attention you are going to get

            • Hey Mikey

              Why are you a mod? What is your purpose? Seems to have nothing to do with making chat better for anyone. You can’t come midway through a convo, read a line entirely out of context, clearly misinterpret it, then without even asking for clarification, decide to boot someone; that isn’t modding anything, it’s being a little butt hurt pussy

              I co admin a site. We do have rules of conduct. But we are human beings and our main concern is to encourage the free flow of convo (in our case it’s strictly forum posts but same diff) without anyone going off on tangents or bullying people. So we use common sense and we make sure we understand the situation clearly

              We prevent bullies, we are not the bullies. If that is your preference, perhaps you should not involve yourself in any kind of social situation. Don’t like what people say, block them

              Mods need modding on this site, many people see the pattern

            • Miss A,

              I am a mod to help people on site and we mods are not as stupid as people think, this statement from before

              Miss_A (TheBlockButtonIsYourFriend): I seem to attract mods the way catholic schoolgirls attract strange men who insist they call them “uncle”

              Now there is nothing to misunderstand about that, Mod bashing IS NOT ALLOWED in the open system rooms full stop. If you wish to complain about a mod this is the right place to go to, or to email Nash directly, we welcome all feedback and complains, what is not welcome is snide remarks in the open room, that has earned you an one hour timed ban, hell you can even make a private room and call it mods are crap etc, but so long as it is kept and of the main system rooms. I do hope this has cleared things up, because frankly your lack of respect for the site rules will earn you more bans if it continues.


    • Having read all the threads below Miss A i don’t see any word playing or pun’s being made and there isn’t anything wrong with my comprehension i have a degree in Journalism.

      I am shocked at your attitude towards the Mods who use what ever free time that they have to ensure that all the users on the site have an avenue for people of all walks of life to use the site in a safe and secure manner without the drama.

      Curare was trying to get rid of the current drama that you claim you had no idea about, you should have remained silent and allowed her to do her job as a Mod on the site.

      You’re not a new user either one would have thought that as a regular you’d be aware how much every single Mod does do on the site be that with or without humor they aren’t here to entertain us they’re all here to ensure that all users follow the rules and feel safe when connected to the site to chat or what ever.

      I see that you may have forgotten the etiquette rules that Nash has put in simple words for all users to follow. I suggest you read those rules again and remember what is required of you to ensure that you’re an example for those who are new to the site…yes even as a regular you also have just as much responsibility as the Mods do.

      Just in case you forgot the rules, i’ll make it easy for you…and provide you this link

      Read them well and memorize them I would also suggest that you apologize to the mods they’re always here for all of us no matter what to help us with our enquirers and they also ensure that if there is any drama for any user be that a regular or not..they do step in even when they don’t have too.

      Remember they don’t get paid to be a Mod they do this upon their own free will to ensure the site is run smoothly and as a regular chatter you are required to be an example for people who are new to the site to ensure that the rule’s are well followed.

      This is my two cents worth…just remember your place as a regular pissing off Mods isn’t a wise idea unless you’re begging for a permanent ban then please continue the way you are and i can assure you it won’t take long before you are banned forever.

      • Perhaps mods should get paid, then they’d be more responsible

        • I don’t think you really are aware with what it takes to be a Mod, or what it takes to run a large scale chat site like Nash does, you don’t seem to appreciate anything that’s offered for you to use pacifically with what is on offer for you here which brings me to to my next question for you Miss A.

          If you don’t like what’s being offered here or how the Mods are or in your case how they’re not doing their job correctly then why do you continue using this site why continue to come to a place you’re clearly unhappy being in?

        • Miss A – I am not sure people getting paid or not would make them more or less responsible. It’s an interesting thought to consider however.

          I also appreciate that you are bringing the conversations about the moderators and the site rules / policies to this page, rather than getting into a row about them in the chat rooms.

          The earlier comments in this thread seem to about mods saying what you were doing in the chat rooms was in violation of the rules, particularly adding some fuel to the drama, which is against the rules.

          I see that you are saying that the context of what you were saying is either not being considered or is misunderstood. I think this is discussed a bit on the rules page and other pages around here – we know that with text chat it is impossible to comprehend what everyone is trying to infer with statements.

          This is one of the reasons that the moderators sometimes give warnings, sometimes it does not matter how things sound in the head of the person typing something, often times it is more important how things are perceived by others in the room. A warning about not adding fuel to a drama fire should server as notice that others are considering what you are typing as being combative.

          If others are reading your statements as being snarky, and mean, and it is seen by others that that kind of drama adding is okay – then it is likely to stir up more people into doing, along with making others who want fun with less drama to be turned off from the general chat. Often times it takes a moderator or someone else in the room to mention that something is not right, and that could be the perception of others who are reading what comes across the screen, not necessarily what was inferred.

          As someone else has mentioned in a previous comment, it is fine to take these kinds of discussions to a side room, or to the site blog, but getting into arguments about “what she said”, “what he meant”, what Bob heard, what Sally… that kind of thing is not proper in the lobby.

          So again, I appreciate the comments being taken to the proper places. I have taken notice of the things people have mentioned, and considered if we should adapt the policies and procedures. At this time I think with this particular situation the mods have been following the rules. Maybe we could have better methods of explaining what is going on and why, and need to consider how others may “hear in their head” what we are saying as mods, but again that is part of the issues with text chat, and it’s something that we will all need to reconsider time and again.

          • Sorry to comment on it Nash but I’ve been following this problem through email as much as possible… And I have to ask, why has Miss A just not recieved a permanent ban?

            I have watched people recieve a perma-ban for issues that just made me go “wtf? Why are they really bothering with this penny ante stuff!” and then someone like this that has shown a blatant disrespect for the rules, the mods and her peers over and over keeps being allowed to return to break the same rules.

            Sorry, but aren’t you guys just like poking a sleeping dragon by letting her return? Just saying…

            • DNYS – I am glad to head that people who are a part of the scsc community do keep up with some of the issues that arise here. There are a surprising amount of people who do keep up with the discussions via the comments outside of the chat rooms themselves, and I think that is awesome, and helpful in many ways. Why has Miss A not gotten a perma ban yet? I am not sure really, but the answer to that probably also answers most of the situations that relate to your next statement about others getting banned for small things.

              I am pretty sure that Miss A has been told that these issues have put her in the “last chance, last warning before perma ban” category. It is our hope that giving users this will guide them to not doing whatever it was that landed them in that category. This also usually puts the other mods on notice about the final warning. Sometimes we give people warnings about things at separate times from different mods, and we don’t always share notes on these things. Sometimes an issues arises that turns into a situation where we decide to more formally make sure that the person in question is aware of the rules, and what we are taking an issue with, and asked not to repeat any rules breaking. Not everyone gets an extra warning and second chance, and sometimes people get just that, without one particular mod knowing that someone else has already called someone out on something.

              This could be why people may see someone in the chat get perma banned for “penny ante stuff” – as most of the time those in the chat room are unaware of previous warnings, or moderation things that have happened through pms or in previous chat sessions. There certainly have been plenty of situations in the past where we tried to play nicer with folks and it ended up allowing someone the space to rest and come back poking for more… but we try to take the route of educating about the policies and procedures before banning people in most situations.

              I often times hope that people will take the time to understand how we expect things to go around here, and sometimes my hope is shattered. Even if 9 out 10 end up getting permanently banned in the future, having that 1 out of 10 that gets clued in to the rules usually makes the place better for everyone in the long run, so I think it is worth the effort. This certainly makes it harder on the mods, it would be much easier to just ban everyone for any infraction.

              Luckily a lot of people do come to an understanding about the rules and expectations and decide to use the methods we have setup to discuss things in the proper places. It is my hope that this latest situation will work out that way.

            • I do agree with you Nash, but she also has to be as willing to learn from her mistakes as you are to show her the error of her ways, and I personally don’t think she is capable of that.

            • DNYS – Some people are willing to learn and adapt, some are not. I think Miss A is capable, of course being able to do something and choosing to do is consistently is a whole ‘nother ball of wax. From past experience I am guessing that about 20% of people who are given final warnings learn and change. About 50% don’t at all, and about 30% do for a little while but then veer off the ‘not getting banned’ path. It is of course my hope that everyone learns the methods the community has established here and follows the practices we have all come to enjoy.

          • I think that perhaps Mods should not be allowed to post here– it really just flames more drama. Mods do have their own special area, and I imagine they could make their case/defense there, but by posting here, it seems to devolve into a bunch of name calling and bickering which only furthers dislike for all parties. If the mods believe the person is in the wrong, it should be discussed privately, not jumping down a person’s throat who believes they are making a legitimate complaint.

            If chatters are not allowed to disparage mods in the chat room, then mods should not be allowed to disparage chatters here. If the mods were right, and they make their case to you that they are right, then that’s all that should matter.

            • DistinguishedOlderMale™

              Ok . going back to past comments here… this is an open forum
              Users cant be lkicked from here for the the posts they make here…
              But Yes as a Mod accuesed we have the right to answer here as wel
              Maybe some people can get some education from this here…
              But i doubt that

            • I find your response to be a problem, DOM, because you’re taking the complaints personally and then attacking the chatters (“you can’t fix stupid”).

              All that responding to the complaints is doing is creating more drama, as the mods tend to stick up for themselves and take it personally, and sometimes attack the chatter and belittle them for their complaint. If this is the only place that chatters can complain about moderators, they should be able to do so freely without fear of making an enemy out of the mods by arguing with them.

              In the end, Nash is the only one who matters, because he makes a decision, correct? Why can you not defend yourself to him instead of getting in a war with a chatter over a single situation? Let him decide what went wrong and inform the chatter of anything they need to be told.

            • bubblegumbitch – this is an interesting view point. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this.

            • Hey, bgb,
              You made me stop and really think and I appreciate that. Yes, I agree with DOM that this an open forum and mods should be allowed to post in here as well. But, you do raise a great point about how we, as mods, go about posting in here. You have certainly given me cause to ensure I stop and think about what I want to say and HOW I need to say it before I hit the reply icon. Thanks.

            • I believe that mods should be able to post here as we are also limited to what can be said in the main chat. I also believe that we have a little less restriction when post here, although moderators do not respond to continue the drama, but to respond with information about the rules and the reason why someone would be kicked. Too many times users come here and point the finger at the moderators instead of looking over the rules to see how their behavior, responses , actions etc are seen in chat. Mods are still must “hold their tongues” and respond in a more professional manner, but users should also do this.
              Also consider that discussions here:
              Help new moderators also get a better understanding of the rules .
              Help look at the users perspective and have a chance to go back and look at the chat log.
              Helped clarify rules either to clarify , change or create new rules or discontinue outdated rules.
              Some users will always point their fingers at the mod not knowing how to mod and will not change. Some think their way of chatting is fine, no matter what the rules and others still don’t care if there are rules or not. Then there are many users who get a better understanding of the how hard it is to moderate on a chat site and why we have certain rules in place.

  9. ladylikes™✿TallOne(m)™s lady✿

    Dear Nash – I sent a message on the chat connection site. It is awaiting moderation again – I do not understand….
    I am receiving messages from the chat connection problems site, which means, I am signed in. But I had to sign in again to leave you a message….


    • Heya ladylikes, receiving messages from the comments pages is just being signed up for receive notices. You will get notices emailed as comments are made automatically from the system whether you are ‘signed in’ or not. Of course you can manage these subscriptions at the bottom of each page, or using the link in the bottom of the comment notice emails, to turn them off for each page you are signed up for. Unless you or I cancel your subscription to these notices, they will continue, even if you have not “signed in” in months.

      The commenting system here will normally ask people to “sign in” or put in a screen name and email addy in order to make comments. Once someone does that once, it should keep that info in memory for about 24 hours I think.. then cookies should expire and the comment system should forget, although I might be off on that – it could remember longer if someone returns months later and has not cleared cookies, and is coming from the same ip addy. I’m not quite sure how that part works these days! LOL! It would not surprise me if it did ask people to enter their screen name and email addy to leave a comment each day, and if the browser they are using is not accepting cookies it may ask for that info each time within the same day.

  10. I got banned months ago. I realized my mistake it was that i mentioned underage persons in conversation, but i did not send any pic of content from underage persons. I did not do it on purpose, cos i did not know that only mentioning the age of my brother (I WAS ASKED FOR IT) will result in with a ban. Please, can you remove the ban i regret i did that i know the rules and i will never do that again from now on. tnx

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