Lesbian chat room issues and suggestions

We have had a few suggestions and a few complaints about the lesbian chat room. lesbian girls kissI’m not sure what exactly to do about the lesbian room. In a perfect world we could keep a lesbian room and forum section for verified females who are all adults and who are all definitely lez or bi. Verifying is one of the things that I think most people would enjoy, but it is also something that I bet most people would not want to do either.

If you came to this page from one of the search engines looking for lesbian sex chat, click here for our lesbian sex chat rooms page.

With the current chat room, I know there is the obvious issue of people coming in with male names and making stupid comments like “I can convert you with my mad crazy pussy eating skills” and shit like that. We also are going to have guys coming in with female names, and that’s an issue. It’s some of the problems that come from having a chat room system that requires no registration and no verification. I think if we moved to having verification as a requirement we would lose a majority of the people using the chat rooms, so we need to find other ways of solving these problems.

Certainly having moderators pop into the various rooms and being able to kick out people who are belligerently rude helps. I am not sure that we should make it a rule that no men are allowed into the lesbian room however, as that will just create another problem of trying to figure who is a guy and who is not, among other things. Some men will just logout and come back with a different name, and other things. There are other options with the current chat system however.

First thing I suggest for the girls in the lesbian room (and people using any of the rooms really) – is that the ignore / block button is very powerful. Someone comes into the room and you do not want to be bothered with them – click the user’s screen name and click block. If everyone in the room does that – problem solved. This won’t stop people from reading the messages that are posted in the room however.

If you want a lesbian, “Girls only room” – the easiest way to do this is to create your own room. When you create your own room, you can essentially make the rules anyway you want, and the room creator can also kick out anyone they do not want in the room for any reason.

From the few times I have popped into the various niche rooms, I think most of the people use PMs and whispers for the ongoing conversations anyhow.
If you had a few people that want to have a room where everyone can chat openly without PMs and whispers, then it would be simple to create your own “Lesbian Girls Only password protected room” – not only does that give you another layer of protection from unwanted men entering, but it also gives the room creator the power to kick out anyone who comes in. So you could post the password for the new room openly in the chat room, and invite others to follow you there, and you can kick out anyone who is not welcome easily.

Does everyone know and understand how to create your own room here?
Click on the rooms icon (the door with green arrow icon near top of the chat window)
On the bottom right hand side of that window is a button for “Create Room”
If anyone needs for details I will be happy to provide graphics and explanations of passwords and stuff.

For now, we are not going to make it a rule that men can not com into the main system’s lesbian room – you are welcome to block/iggy any male names, or any name for that matter. It will not do any good to go find a moderator to kick out someone from that room because they are a guy. If someone is on the lesbian room and breaking other rules such as threatening statements, or flooding and such, then there may be the possibility of kicking someone out, but our mods would need to see proof of such behavior.
(Post updated and changes made to the info here, June 19, 2001 – original post was Feb 8 2011)

update – 04-13-2014 –

We had a complaint about an issue with someone who was going by a name with shemale in it recently, and as to where most of the complaint that I was originally sent had to do with confusion about our policies and access that the mods have, there was more to the story that I think deserves some clarification.

After reading and responding to that complaint, I was sent a portion of some of the discussion that occurred I guess after the main incident that was being complained about originally, and it may be something that we have not specifically touched upon here, or in the rules, or even on the open question post about when do men cross the line in the lesbian chat room here.

As to where the original complaint I received did not have enough details about the situation, and what details were provided were addressed on the moderator complaints page, looking into a few comments that were sent via email to me, I think we should clarify.

Someone said “but to flaunt themselves with open scening is our complaint…” – and this was referring to a ‘shemale roleplay’ in one way or another. This is a fair complaint in my opinion.

As is mentioned on our etiquette and rules page, certain types of discussions will be overly taboo for certain rooms and should not occur there.

another person said “there’s plenty of open scening in here regularly between non-trans women. the fact that alexis is trans should not have bearing on her ability to play in the public space.”

This would be true in some of the rooms, but not others. Having an open sex scene in the les room that involves a penis is not allowed, nor is having a screen name like “MyBigCockDripsCumOnYou”. There are certain things that are allowed here in some of the rooms that are not allowed in all of the rooms. We offer the ability to create your own room and take an open sexual scene there, so we are not discriminating on any gender or anything. This kind of thing is covered in our rules in the taboo subjects clause:

Edge-play / taboo terms (terms that are not well accepted in the mainstream world) are not allowed to be in the lobby. Certain discussions that may be tolerated in one room may be reason for a kick or ban in another room as well.
Coming into the Lesbian action room with a dig dick avatar, or talking about your cock, or other graphic discussions about male genitalia in the lesbian room can get you kicked or banned from the system. Same applies to anyone who would come into the gay / bisexual men chat room and start talking about female anatomy graphically and in the open room.

there are plenty of other details that everyone should know on the etiquette / rules page that will affect how everyone is permitted to use our systems, I highly recommended everyone read and understand the rules, and our terms of service and privacy policy pages.

348 thoughts on “Lesbian chat room issues and suggestions”

  1. hi , over the last at least three months i have been bullied by a person called sally 50 uk , she is always starting somthing , and of corse i reply , but its not me who starts it , she is also using other names to fight me in the room , to day she started to post comments about me that were not true , and takes great pleasure in doing so , i bring this to you attention as i do enjoy coming in here and having some nice chats and making friends , i thank your time ,

    sara 46

    1. Hi Sara 46 – One of our moderators has perma-banned “sara 50” from the chat rooms.

    2. Crystal Cockrell

      I’m sorry to hear that sweetie I wouldn’t talk to that crazy woman she’s probably just jealous

  2. Hi Mods, though I am not sure that this is the right place to speak to a mod. I am relatively new to the site, and not a terribly regular attender so I am not writing this expecting that my views should be attended to. I also think that it is a privilege to have a free site of this sort available, and undoubtedly one that takes a lot of time and effort to provide, so this is in no way meant as a complaint or a ‘bitch’ at the site, its owners or its officials. Please take it simply as an observation and a communication to be thought about by you or not, as you feel is appropriate.

    So with that out of the way, I would like to make a comment about two related issues regarding the lesbian room. The first is about men who attend it, not breaking any rules and usually in my experience saying little or nothing in the open room.

    The second issue is about powerful sub-groupings. These in my limited experience are fixtures in the lesbian room, with a greater or lesser presence depending on time of day. They are well known it seems and are defined by their ‘mistress’. Not infrequently members of these cliques they ‘play’ publicly but only with other members, filling the chat screen and sometimes drowning out other casual chat.

    What I want to say about both these issues is that, while no rules are broken, they can be intimidating (in their respective ways) to shyer members of the lesbian sexchat community. I know, from conversations in the room, that I am not alone in feeling uncomfortable and somewhat inhibited by both. I now often do not stay in the lesbian room for long, although I would like to do so as I have made friends there. In addition, though I have not had the urge to do so myself, I have heard regular attenders say that they feel unable to comment about being made to feel uncomfortable because of a fear of bullying, which ironically includes being threatened with a mod.

    As no rule has formally been broken, invariably the mod, if called, will support the ‘mistress’. The mistress knows the ‘system’ very well. The block button is often suggested by mods as a solution to someone that feels uncomfortable, but it is not a real solution when the whole room is filled by public playing, or when the person (in relation to the male ‘pets’) is being intimidating by virtue of their silence, where there can be a sense of voyeurism. To try to explain this; the men, from their names, identify with a specific ‘mistress’ and sit in the room for hours on end saying nothing, but presumably reading the chat, and for all one knows commenting on it or being aroused by it. Can you understand (as a man) that this might be a distasteful experience for someone who may have personal, sometimes painful, reasons for wishing to avoid sexual contact with men even as an object for a voyeur?

    Another suggestion that I have heard, including from members of the clique, is to leave the lesbian room, but this is giving in to bullying and to the control of the room ‘queen’?

    Having said this, in fact I privately suggested quite recently to a very gentle young woman who had just had the courage to come out as a lesbian, and who had been mocked by the sub-group for making a naive statement publicly, that she might consider going to a different room. Her response to me was ‘why should I, I should be able to belong here’. In my view, she was right!

    Anyway, I have said enough. I don’t know what the answer to any of this is, even if you were to agree that it is a problem – and of course you might not. I can only see things from my own perspective and there may well be equally powerful arguments in a different direction.

    If In fact you have got to the this point, then thank you for reading my post, and thank you even more for providing a free meeting place that I know is very important to a good number of site users.


    1. @ shy lesbian – thank you for sharing your views and experiences here! We are always interested in how others use or don’t use parts of the system and any issues that arise in which we may not be aware of.

      I of course always suggest the block user aka “iggy button” for most issues, and it becomes much more powerful when others in the room are educated about it using it. Annoying people and groups of people who find themselves truly ignored / (iggied!) will likely stop being annoying at some point, actually at the point that a few people block them they are instantly stopped. I think this is most powerful when people share with others about using it.

      There are some cases in which the iggy button does not work, if someone leaves the chat and comes back to get around being blocked, then it becomes a type of harassment that we do not care for in any of the rooms.

      “Can you understand (as a man) that this might be a distasteful experience for someone who may have personal, sometimes painful, reasons for wishing to avoid sexual contact with men even as an object for a voyeur? ” – yes absolutely, which is why I have seen that many of the les girls will often not engage in intimate chat in the open room if other males are present, even if they are not talking.

      Cliques invariably come together in many places, sometimes they are just a group of friends, and sometimes these cliques get out of hand. Over the years we have had some issues where we tried to change how “regs” behaved in the main rooms when some of the group activity of certain cliques became an issue. This was the cause for a long post / rant a while back: The challenge to the regs. As to where this was brought about by certain actions in the main lobby, I think there is good info there for our regular users and new users alike in any of the rooms. Sometimes we have to go back to asking some people to get more in line with the respect and considerations that we brought up with those discussions long ago, and then things usually chill out for a while.

      I find it quite odd that people in the les room would suggest you leave the room.

      Most of the moderators and other users are likely not signed up to get notices when comments are left on this particular page, but I have made a note about it in the mod’s discussion area, so hopefully some others will chime in on these issues as well. I think a majority of our users kind of use the “mod complaints page” as the primary place for suggestions and rants and that page has the most people signed up to get an email notice when new comments / discussions are added.

      Some people use the feedback page, and a few others use the suggestions page, but the most viewed and commented appears to be the mod complaints page I think. I should really check on that. Anyhow I should be sleeping, so I am not at 100% brain thinking right now. I wanted to approve your comments and let you know that what you have said will be considered. Thanks again for sharing, perhaps we may need to get some details and look into some of these issues a bit more in depth over the next few days.

      1. Nash, I just wanted to thank you for giving so much time to what I wrote yesterday. I did not expect such a long and thoughtful reply and I am very grateful. I realise that probably not much can be done, even if some of these matters are seen as real issues, and I do recognise that rules are not being broken. It is difficult to legislate to protect peoples individual sensitivities. However, your awareness, and that of the mods, might stop the problem from developing further and that is reassuring.

        The issue of a suggestion that someone leaves the room has arisen more than once while I have been there. As far as my memory serves me it has always been a defensive ‘counter attack’ when someone has suggested that a ‘protected’ male leaves the room. e.g. ‘if you don’t like why don’t you leave’ or ‘no one is asking you to stay here if you don’t like it’, or other words to that effect. It has not happened to me, but has in my presence.

        Thank you again,Nash. I won’t take up more of your time with this, and I wish you and the site well.


        1. @shy lesbian – we have starting discussion these issues in the mods only forums. I am not sure at this time that “no rules are being broken” – we have a lot of rules here, and those that have extensive knowledge of the rules, policies and procedures sometimes push the limits of what we allow. Sometimes they step over those lines and try to convince others that they have not. So we will be doing some more research into these issues and come up with something pretty soon.

          Some things are not so simple – like asking a male to leave the room and being told they are “protected” – well, no one here is really “protected from the rules” – a male can be in the les room whether they have friends there or not, but if they are breaking the rules then it does not matter if they have a dozen friends offering them “protection”.

          Initial discussions in the mods area point to some previous awareness of similar issues there with some of the same people that I think you may be referring to, so we may move to make some adjustments with these issues faster than what may otherwise become. More details will come together over the next couple of days. Thanks again for enlightening me / us to things that I was not well aware of.

          1. Thank you again Nash. I really do appreciate that you are taking this so seriously.

            Just to clarify one point, the term ‘protected’ was mine. I used it because it is the impression that I have in from those who assertively jump to the man’s defence, while he himself remains silent. It is not the case that the ‘mistress’ has used the term. Sorry if that was misleading.


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    1. Sara – we do not like people to talk publcly about using skype, or other similar third party services around our site. The main reasoning for this is the lack of privacy and the amount that these things are used for scams and identity hijacking. There is a voice chat option within our peeps cams chat area that you may prefer to use instead.

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