What it takes to be a sex chat mod


So over the years I have gotten a lot of questions about how someone becomes a moderator of the sex chat room. Well it’s quite a process as far as the backend administration goes, and there is a lot involved in being a moderator here as well.

If someone really wants to consider becoming a mod, I suggest you think about this:

Imagine for a moment that you have complete moderator abilities – you can kick and permanently ban anyone on the site. Now think of the three things that piss you off the most (that you see happen on the site). Think it about, see it happen. See that text come across the screen. Those three things happen, all in a row, from three different people.

Now, If one of those things were spamming for a commercial site, and another was saying they were not yet eighteen years old – then throw those out of this exercise. Now focus on the things that those people just did in the chat room.

do you click the name and click “kick” – do you click the name and click “ban”?

If you did, then you are not going to like the rules that the moderators must follow. You would also most likely not keep moderator status for very long if you got it in the first place. The ability to kick and ban users is rarely allowed by the site admins if the user is doing anything other than spamming for a commercial site or is projecting themselves as being not yet 18 years old.

A majority of the moderation is spent educating users about the rules and not kicking people – even when the majority of users would like to see that person kicked.

Becoming a mod – how it happens

There is the consideration process that the would-be-mod must go through. Before someone can become a moderator, then have to read and completely understand the etiquette rules, the site’s terms of service, and the 30 or so pages of moderators procedures and mod notes / mod discussion area. There is a lot of reading involved, (I think one of our newer moderators said it took about 4 hours to read all the mod discussion area? and because of that it was about a week before they could take it all in and consider further) and it’s quite a lot to understand and agree to.

The mod rules are strict, and keep the mods from kicking for 99% of the things that piss you off – if you can’t handle that – then the job is not for you.

For the administration portion of becoming a moderator, once someone is being considered, we put their name up in the mod discussion area for votes from our current mods. If any one of the mods chimes in with some reason that someone should not be a moderator, then they are out. Basically it only takes one black ball from one of the current mods and someone it takes out of the running. If someone makes it through that discussion and voting process and everyone gives a thumbs up, then we may grant temporary moderator status, like a 30 day trial to see how things go, and how things are handled, and if we get an any complaints. Then we go from there.

Sometimes moderators choose to resign the position, as it is a lot of work, and takes away from the fun. Sometimes we revoke a mods status for various reasons as well.

If reading this and the comments below here have not scared you enough already, and you would like to further consider volunteering for the moderating position, then you could send an email to me (site admin / Nash) at adultwebmasteronline@yahoo.com – In the email you send, please include the following:


  1. Screen name(s) you use in the chat
  2. the general time window that you get in the chat (and whether your times are in EST or GMT, etc)
  3. The city / state / country you are in
  4. Approximately how long have you been using the chat rooms here? (weeks, months, etc?)
  5. Which chat rooms within our systems do you frequent?
  6. Names of any enemies you have made in the room
  7. Names of any friends (don’t list more than 5 please)
  8. any moderating, internet or real world experience in policing, refereeing, etc you may have
  9. an agreement that if you are given access to the mods only discussion area, that you will keep ALL info contained within completely confidential – not to be shared with anyone, copied, saved, or used in any way outside of this web site, ever, or with anyone aside from current moderators and site admins.

I may post some of the info you send in the email to the password protected-moderators-only-discussion area in order to get feedback from the other moderators. If you send some details in the email that you would be uncomfortable with me sharing with the other moderators please mention this in the email. I normally will not share an entire email anyway, but it does help to point out some things like times and groups of friends and stuff so the other mods can get an idea of who we are talking about that is up for consideration to become a new mod.



  1. Mr Nash thank you for your information on becomming a moderator. I would not make it past the first page. I’ll be content being just a user I had no idea what moderators have to do. I have new found respect for moderators now and all those people who expressed interest only one would make a good moderator. thanks again for the information mikey4u

    • Glad you had a chance to get a glimpse at some of this info mikey4u. I am trying to remember the amount of initial study hours were needed just to read the mod blog / rules. Of course this varies by person, but I think the reading of rules and mod issues is at least 12 hours just for the initial part. Then there are questions and answers, and refreshing on rules and how special cases are determined, of course there are also many changes as far as being in the room – a lot of extra time is spent dealing with issues rather than enjoying the chat, and some times things become so stressful that is bleeds into your offline life. It’s a taxing job from the beginning, and that is just the start of the bullshit.

  2. I would like to be a mod and can be one form 8am to 8 pm

  3. I would like to apply to become a mod. I truly believe I have what you guys are looking for.

  4. i can and wanna be a mod to help this site

  5. I would like to inquire about the status of my mod application.

  6. Due to the shortage of mods nowadays and more and more people breaking the rules, I would like to be considered to be a moderator to help keep SCSC a safe and enjoyable place. I will be applying soon. I hope to hear from you soon, Nash.

    – Cruizer™

  7. I would love to help with the site

  8. Hey guys,

    Ok, so fairly new user here, but I would just like to put out that I think annabel ® ™ would make an amazing moderator, even now when there are no mods around and users violate the rules (inclusive of myself *sighs* yes I know !!) she steers them in a friendly but stern way towards the light.

    It is the tone that makes the music my mother always tells me and Annabel possesses the tone needed to moderate these rooms I believe. She is always kind to everyone, never fans the flames and always seems to be the voice of reason for everyone.

    Anyway, I really hope you will consider her for I think she would be an asset to your team

    dts_fem xxx

  9. Hello Nash,
    I sent an email about being a Mod a little over 24 hours ago. Wasn’t sure if it was received. I know you are a busy man, however, I thought that I would take the time to comment here as well.

  10. I reapplied so in short, nudge nude wink wink *smirks*

  11. of the how do you signI would like to know and answer please
    is there any privacy for two people

    • yes sherry, inside the chat rooms you can pm / private chat with one person in a private chat window that does not include the whole room. Find the main free sex chat rooms here, if you ask others they will help guide you into the different ways to private chat with others.

      If you are asking about private messaging outside the chat rooms, there are options for sending messages to other members in the sex chat peeps section. That is similar to sending a facebook message or an email..

  12. hi nash
    i forgot your email id,so i guess this would be right place to post my comment here,i would like to help you in solving the asian chat room issues,i noticed your recent post regarding hack of your site,i would like to join hands with you to solve your issues on chat site with my exp in cyber security field,i would like to help you friend…

    thanks and regards
    your beloved chat site user

  13. I have noticed the shortage of mods during the night/early morning times (EST); and during those times I have noticed a lot of people breaking the rules. I realize the responsibility of being a mod, and I am up to the task. Please consider my name for the position.

    Thank you,


  14. Really considering being a mod now, especially since the past few days/week there have been a lot of people breaking the rules and haven’t seen many mods lately. I would just like to try and keep it peaceful when there aren’t any other mods available.

  15. respected sir
    please reconsider me for admin ,i state following reasons for considering me as admin
    as i am long user of this site,i can guide the new user with proper guide lines,and can say the new user about the pathway
    i have many friends and i have no enemy on this site i made friendship with my friends and i am stay tuned about the updates of chat site

    About me:
    i have an experience in guiding the users in stackexchange networks(i used to guide new users regarding their community rules etc,and any details regarding it i ll provide it when you need it) and i love to guide them,i used to maintain user created rooms here so that i knew more about how the new user behaves,and how to guide them when to warn them and when to kick them..,other than this i would like to moderate the users ..other than chatting
    i have applied for two times and this was my third time for applying to moderation job,so please reconsider me for moderation job
    thanks & regards
    strict pimp123

  16. Hello, I would like an opportunity to reapply to be a mod on this site. I enjoy coming to this site; I have alot of friends here and i have no enemies here at all.

    I feel I could be an asset to this site in the position of moderator. I have helped several different mods here being another set of eyes, calling their attention to minors, spammers, etc.

    I know I have been told perhaps that “I am too nice” but honestly, I feel that I would certainly be able to handle myself in a respectful and dignified manner as a mod. I am also available to be a mod at times when no mods are present, early mornings and afternoons (NY time).

    Please consider my reapplication to join the hard-working team of mods on this site.

    Thank you,

  17. consider my name for moderator

  18. sir i posted my wish to become as moderator but it seems to be removed may i know why it has been deleted?

  19. sir consider my name for admin !

  20. I would like to point out, to many of you that wish to be a Mod. I have been a Mod in 50+ websites, and Several of my own for personal reasons. Youcannt be biased, and you cannt play favourites. You need to really sit down and think. ” HM. Am I going to give up looking cool, and not kick him/her because of MY RULES?” Or..” I’m going to kick him because my friend’s are going to peer pressure me.”Infact, you can do neither.It’s unsightly when Mods lose their sense of responsibilties ( None of which I have seen here, many other websites however.) And do what they dang well please! It’s bad. It’s a lot of rules, and a lot of learning. And hard work! You need to be able to commit yourself to it, and stick with it. I would also like to thank Jenny BBW and BigTex™©(Str8-M-55): For their very generous contribution to knowlede forme to futher myself in becomming a Sex Chat Mod. Thank you!

  21. I agreee..

  22. I would like to recommend that Al, known as Canadian23m-Literate Chatters Only, become a Moderator. I believe he would be the next great addition to the website. He spends several hours chatting and as far as I have noticed, he has followed all rules and even helps to spread them when no one else is around. I, with all my heart, believe that he would be fair and help to improve the site from spammers, rule-breakers, and offensive posts. I please ask that you consider him for the position. I would not take the time out of my day to recommend someone like this if I did not believe it would be beneficial to the masses. Thank you for your consideration.

  23. i read all the rule and agreed with them……i will follow all the rules and perform my duty well…..and i think i will be the best because i use this site more than 8 hours……so plzzz can i be the moderator of this site…..plzzz

    • no sexy boy – it takes a lot more than 8 hours of using the site to be considered for a mod position. A LOT more than that.

  24. i agree…………

  25. i would like to become a mod , i have read the rules and i studied them and i have though about it and i made up my mind on it.

  26. Hi i would like to become a site moderator and i have read and understood the rules, i often come on the site practically everyday and there are many things that annoy me in which annoys a lot of other people even the other mods as i have seen them kick and ban the people who deserve to be so i know exactly what to do in the lesbian chat room and when to do it.

  27. I would like to become a mod i am very experienced and i also read ur rules and i know what to do

  28. So, I have been comming here for a long time. I have thought long and hard about being a mod, and i think it is something i really want to do. I would love to be more involved with the site, and I know that the rooms i frequently go to need a perma-mod. The issues that could be resolved from having a mod in there at all times would be amazing. I would love the chance if it will be given to me.

  29. i would like to be a Admin please

  30. i would like to be a Mod please

  31. I also want to be a moderator.

  32. Angelips (MrsLips)

    After much careful consideration I would like the opportunity to apply as one of your mods. I am on more hours than I care to admit but see alot of underage and cam requests when other mods are finally taking a much needed break. I really enjoy your sight and am looking forward to hearing from you.

  33. Want to register for the post of mod.

  34. Vampy06_Juggalette OG

    So, I have been comming here for a long time. I have thought long and hard about being a mod, and i think it is something i really want to do. I would love to be more involved with the site, and I know that the rooms i frequently go to need a perma-mod. The issues that could be resolved from having a mod in there at all times would be amazing. I would love the chance if it will be given to me.

  35. well where to begin. today I asked Tasty Temptress about becoming a Mod and she directed me to this link and after reading the main section and all the comments I never relized how involved it was to be an admin… I’ve been coming to this sight for over 6 months give or take now and I’ve had a blast meeting new people and having fun ;). but my hat comes off to the admins and Mods you all do a great job keeping everything flowing in the chat rooms. I myself thought I’d throw my name in the hat, sorta speak, to be a mod but after reading this I think I’ll refrain till a much later date as I don’t think I’m ready to submit myself for such a trying task. I’ve done some mod/admin work in a Call Of Duty Clan but this is much, much more intricate. as it stands I will be content to be a friend to ya’ll in the chat and hope to see ya’ll in there at some time or another.

    best regards,


    P.S. keep up the good work ya’ll :)

  36. Hello everyone,

    I love that we have a spot to send people if they are curious to know how one becomes a moderator. Its very difficult to explain in a one on one conversation while you are also moderating the room. So kudos on having a page for it.

    I have been a moderator for this room for over a year now. I love being a moderator here. Not because I have been given “the power” as so many seem to enjoy calling it. I enjoy it because I know the work that I do for this site, and the feedback that I give, is appreciated by most of its users, and the site administration. I find it very challenging, but rewarding just the same.

    I would definately say that if you are not fond of change, not fond of providing well thought out input, not fond of structure, not fond of a team approach, if you are ill tempered, very opinionated, etc…This will not be something you enjoy. And if you cannot enjoy doing it, there really is no point in going any further than this link.

    I am excited to see all the improvements and discussions that have taken place over the last year and have never regretted my decision to accept the moderator position. I am happy to have such a great community to belong to. And thanks to Nash and my fellow moderators. I am always impressed with the ideas and feedback you provide.

    :) toodles,

    Tasty Temptress

  37. ladylikes™garkles and spiggles

    Hello Nash, I have made a comment on the rule and etiquette site. I would like to add something on this site, since you posted me the link to get here and were pondering who could put up with the crazy admin and the rules and so on…. – smiles – .
    I would like to compliment the current mods in the free sexchat. On my opinion they are doing a fantastic job. I value what they do and how they do it. When they are on.
    – smiles again –
    I just wanted to add this.

  38. u r giving chances to everone ………………….but i deserveeeee this title ….make me modddddddd plssssssssssss

    • I do not understand why you would suggest that we give chances to everyone. In fact, we do not give the chance to hardly anyone. It is very rare that someone is even considered for the mod position, it is even rarer for someone who is being considered to want to go through with it after reading all of the mod rules.

      So, most users are not considers, of those that are considered, 75% of them do not get to even read the mod rules before they are taken off the consideration list. Of those that remain, many do not want to responsibility or extra rules and less fun, so they either choose not to do it at all, or do not last long doing it.

      sumit, I am going to let you know that you will not be considered for the mod position, I can already tell by the way you are typing with lots of repeated letters that you are not suited for this position. This is nothing personal, you just need to know that taking on this position is really not some walk in the park, it is something that I and many other take very seriously, there are many hard rules for mods to follow, it takes a huge amount of ethics, patience, and thick skin along with maturity to even do it a little bit. Several people who have made it into the initial post have had their mod powers taken away because the site admins are sticklers for perfection – trust me, you do not want any part of this.

  39. more than 5 months has been passed ……..everytime i opened my browser i type only 1 word sex chat.com ………….i deserve to be a modddd ……i spend almost 20 hoursssssssss on this siteeee…………..from morning 7 am to 10 :30 pm ………….mod is my right ………..i deserveeee to be a mod sumitdl is my id

  40. Hello-
    I’ve been coming to this site for some time, and I’d like to be a moderator for it. I’d like to help out :) If you give me a fair chance, I’ll do my best to Not screw it up : ) Thanks : )

    PS: I’m very new to all this lol! So I suppose I’ll choose a sn later, I’ve only used three that I can think of:



    and “horny male waiting for fun PM ME ;)”

    ps: was kicked from a private room because it was for females only, Whoops didn’t see that. I got warned once because I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to PM to person.

    Hope I get the chance to be a Mod

    Thanks again

  41. For starters, I have to applaud the administration. I’ve been a regular member of the Sex Chat for a little over two years and in that time I’ve seen what they’ve had to endure. There is an insurmountable amount of discipline, patience, and responsibility to keeping the chat running as smoothly as it does. Along with those traits, a moderator also has to understand the diversity of individuals that do and may frequent the chat. They must know that no one person will be the same and each culture has a different way of conversing with others. By this, I mean that our words and how we portray them in text, may mean something different from what another may perceive it to mean. This alone has been a culprit in many flamed arguments among the chat patrons.

    There is no one-place perfect, especially when it’s frequented by so many individuals from all over the globe. However, the administration has done a fantastic job in keeping it as free as possible from the worst possible offenders. It’s not an easy job and it’s a constant one, and personally, I’d like to commend Steve (Nash) and his administration for doing a wonderful job that is not at all an easy one to do. Well done!!

    • Thank you for seeing and taking the time to understand all of this Debra! I think sometimes people in the chat room see the way we handle things as being too nice or too soft, and they do not really get why, or how hard it is to have the patience necessary to constantly try to educate users from all over the world about the etiquette of the sex chat rooms here.

      The administration has done a most excellent job of trying to keep the peace, and it’s mostly a thankless job, where the moderators get shit from abusive ignorant users, and then often get shit from some of the more regular users who are not ignorant, and then they get shit from me too – LOL. All the while they are often doing more work via pms that most people never see or know about, and doing all of this so they, and everyone else can have a better place to chat.

      The administration of the chat rooms here have really been developed by the moderators (current and past) – and the regular users who have chimed in about things. It’s been an evolving thing that has grown to what it is now thanks to those who have cared enough to make suggestions, comments, and complaints, along with those who have chosen to sacrifice play time in the sex chat rooms to handle problems for the other users.

      I am glad that you and some others have seen things in the way you mentioned, and I too commend everyone who has helped create the set of guidelines that we follow here. I love this place, and it’s mainly because of the time that everyone has taken to help it go in the direction that it is now.

    • Thanks Sweet Debs:), hugs

  42. hi…i wanna be a mod…n m ready 2 tak ujp dis job…can any 1 help me out??

  43. Well, I gave up on being a mod a while back, I have many enemies and I am the unintentional source of a lot of lobby drama, but I would just like to say that I appreciate all the help I myself have recieved from moderators, and that I think it is great that they all stepped up to the plate. Thanks alot guys.

  44. Wow!! loved reading the comments and advice given above, especially from Ms.Interrupted, and of course Boots and last but by no means least Huggin Mikey, who i have come to know and indeed respect over the past few months.

    It is evident that one must have a balanced point of view – and indeed it must be difficult at times to “swallow” rather than kick as i understand fully that the site requires clients/members to survive the same really as any business.

    I believe that the current Moderators are going about their business in a very professional manner and are so very helpful and understanding to all clients, even though at times they are pushed to the limit, and even beyond it.

    I certainly have a better understanding as to how Moderators work, their pressures, patience and attitudes and the contribution they make to ensure this site is run on a professional basis.

    Thank you for your information and contribution.



  45. I love having hot talks

  46. I think to be considered someone 1) must have been a site visitor for a minimum of 3 months or longer, 2) must have followed all the etiquette rules and not have been kicked for any reason, 3) should not have been involved in any lobby “flame wars” or fanned any in anyway, 4) someone who is mature, respectful AND respectable, kind, caring, considerate, and thick-skinned…as you said Nash sometimes you got to bite the bullet. It’s kind of like being a cop in addition to the qualities Boots listed in her comments.

  47. Hi all,

    Like Nash and probably all the mods I get ask questions of what it is like being a mod and so on, so I will do my best to answer them, by the way always feel free to question me.

    The questions I usually get asked are. 1) How do I become a mod? When asked that I will give the contact address of the site and asked that the person sends a email to Nash. 2) Do you get paid? No, it is all done voluntary. 3) What does it detail? Lots of hard work, you also have to put your emotions and personal feelings to one side which can be hard at times, no denying that. 4) Do you feel powerful for kicking someone? No I only kick when necessary I would rather not kick and educate when possible.

    So I did I want to become a mod? Since I join sexchat, in late May 2010, I have been made very welcome by the people here, it is like a second family to me, and I like helping.

    In finishing modding can be hard, but so rewarding.


    • Heyyy thankzz a went thru all the mods i liked urs the most n lol u gamve me the link also wld like to talk wid u sum day properly to get more tips for being a mod

  48. Just to add another uplifting note on modding, being a mod means being an unpaid concierge, mediator, counselor, interpreter, judge, jury and all to be done with maturity, respect and politeness. And you have to have patience and willingness to repeat yourself 1000 times. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Having a repertoire with the larger population of users also helps, personally having nearly 5 years on this site has been a huge advantage.

  49. As I think the newest mod on the site at the moment, the process is very fresh in my mind. Yes, there is a lot of reading to do, and a lot of information to process. It is a steep learning curve. And yes it is hard work. The biggest changes to my life online so far would have to be:

    1. I now cannot ignore/block any users (so I have to read pretty much everything that is posted despite how some of it makes me feel). And wow, do you ever miss that ignore/block feature sometimes!

    2. I need to keep the people arriving/leaving option on so I can quickly identify any users logging on that may be an issue (ie with cam or underage reference in their name). This makes the room move very, very fast and can really make your head spin!

    3. I can no longer just “hang out” in the lobby where I am most comfortable, I need to visit other rooms that I would normally never go into, and sometimes spend time in them, just chatting to users to try and help them fit in on the site. Sometimes I read things in these rooms that make me feel really uncomfortable, but I can’t judge.

    4. I spend a lot of time now talking with people “behind the scenes” trying to help them adjust to life on sexchat if they are new. This includes helping them understand the site rules, etiquette, how to upload an avatar ….. even giving them some personal advice on how best to perhaps integrate into the community faster. This process can take up a lot of time, so naturally it decreases the amount of time I spend talking with my “friends” and participating in general lobby banter.

    5. I’ve had to really stop and think often “how would Steve / Sex Chat Admin” handle this situation. Some of the rules and guidelines we have to follow I might not always agree with. I certainly do have the opportunity to express those concerns on the moderator forums, but you really have to leave your personal judgement on some topics at the door. And the rules and guidelines and warnings change, so you have to keep up with all of that and be willing to spend the time to learn them and adapt.

    6. I’m happy to say I have not once been tempted yet to abuse my mod “powers”. However, I can see that it would be very, very tempting. And it’s something you have to think about. Every single action you take as a mod, whether it is a warning, a kick or a ban has got to be able to be justified and you have to be accountable for it. There are also legal issues involved, along with privacy issues. So say for example a friend asks you to kick someone, or you’re online and heaps of people tell you “kick this person because they’re being vile” ….. you can’t just say sure and do it. You have to keep calm and go along with the mod guidelines. And it also doesn’t give you any super sexiness powers I might add …….. sure there will always be users who would like to add a mod as a notch to their belt (and yes someone did use those words to me), but at the end of the day you are still you. Sadly, being a mod doesn’t instantly turn you into a sex god/goddess! In fact, sometimes the opposite can be true, it can cut down on the amount of interaction you have with potential “friends”. So you need to consider that and work out how to handle it.

    Now …….. these things all sound kind of negative, so I want to balance that out a bit. On the positive side, you get to be part of a community which I have loved from day 1, quirks and all, good and bad! You get to be able to assist in shaping and influencing that community, try and keep it a fun place, because let’s face it, most of us come here for time out from our real lives. You also have the opportunity to chime in with suggestions and feedback about the site and once again possibly influence the community. The other mods are amazing and welcoming and are always available to help you ……. and boy have I asked some “newbie” questions, and still will. And lastly, Steve, the guy who at the end of the day decides yay or nay, and whether you stay or go …….. well, he’s a really decent guy and will always, always help out, clarify things, listen to complaints or suggestions, and it’s because of his amazing site and his support of me in the past that I agreed to become a mod, and why I’m enjoying the experience so far very much. MI (Ms.Interrupted)

    • Glad you chimed in here MI – I would say that a mod does not HAVE to keep the setting for show people entering / leaving, COULD use the block button, but I know many of the mods just bite the bullet and handle what is thrown their way.

      It’s not easy, especially when there are duel relationships involved. There have been times offline that I had to make decisions based on how things were going to appear to others, and it was kind of not fair to my friends, but I could not have the perception of my friendship with someone make it look like my judgment was clouded.

      There are also times, when I am in the room as a mod, that I keep myself from making certain statements. I feel that as a mod / admin, some of the things I say may make the site look bad in some people’s minds, so I have to censor myself. That sucks sometimes, as there are times that I would personally enjoy jumping into some of the dirtier conversations, but hold back.

      There are also times when I would like to lash out at someone and tell them off – or say something witty that would technically not be overly rude, but would certainly put someone in their place – but I refrain, just as I have asked everyone with the “challenge to the regs” – I also find myself telling friends to use the block button more and keep myself from getting involved in drama that personally I would like to point out the flaws in one person’s statements, but I worry that choosing sides would be perceived as an abuse of power, so I feel that I must refrain and let things run their course.

      Of course there are also times when friends break rules, and the need to freeze and kick friends does happen. It really sucks to have to do that, but it must be done when a situation warrants it. This can cost you some friends that you might not lose if you were not modding.

      Hmm.. tries to think of other issues that one might face becoming a mod that would not be obvious before getting into it.

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