New rules for some of the edgy chat stuff

Have you seen a gross room name, a nasty screen name, some taboo subject being discussed that you think should not be allowed? Why do we allow so many taboo things to be talked about here?

First off, do not blame the mods, it is not their fault. We have changed some of the rules for how we will be handling some of the edgier chat rooms, nicknames and other things. I have decided that we need to be a bit more liberal with free speech here. It is a very slippery slope when it comes to censoring things, and I do not want to be one who censors speech on the internet.

Update – Feb 2015 – We have changed some things and banned some things starting in Jan 2015 that were not explicitly banned before. Please see the new content guidelines for a list and some clarifications.

I have come to realize that once you start to choose which speech to censor and which not to, you set yourself up for more and more restrictions, and things get to the point where the only thing you can talk about without offending people is missionary style sex. I have also recently realized that what I read into words and phrases that are typed, are not necessarily what the author is trying to portray. For me when I see, hear, or read about forced sex for example, I read things a certain way, and I get personal feelings that rise up around that. I have read several articles from prominent doctors recently, (read Dr Laura on submission fantasies, and notes about sexual fantasy; rape fantasy does not mean you want rape reality), and seen statistics that show that many women have forced sex fantasies, and deep down it’s not really about rape, but about being pleasured without having to have control. More on that later perhaps.

The family fun room has been added not to encourage discussions about taboo family affairs, but as a way to soften it. It has been suggested by one of our users that actually creating a room with softer sounding names will eliminate some of the harsher sounding rooms created by some users. Having a rooms dedicated to those things also keeps those names and discussions out of the lobby and other rooms.

My personal feeling are being put aside here in order to support free speech and open sharing of ideas, and discussions. If it wasn’t for free speech and people discussion edgy ideas, we would not have many religions, including discussions about the Greek myths and talks about Freud and the Oedipus complex and such would not be possible.

I do not want to be the chat police that starts to say well this kind of talk is okay, but another type is not, and then get pressure from users to hamper this one type of discussion, and that slope just gets slippery, and after a while we end up cutting out all kinds of things, and will be left with a bland missionary sex talks. This may sound extreme, but it’s not a straight license for anything goes anywhere.

We still will not allow certain types of discussions in the main lobby, and some screen names and discussions are not allowed in other rooms. See the content guidelines for details and clarification.

These are outlined in our etiquette rules; hate speech, religion, politics, etc – not in the lobby. We still have a zero tolerance policy for users who choose to talk about underaged sex. I do not care if you are talking about how you got laid when you were 17, or talking about some fantasy or what. We will absolutely not allow discussion about sex if the discussion does not include adults and only adults. We also have a zero tolerance for trolls, and people who are trying to get our users to check out other sites of a commercial interest, including other porn sites, or cam sites, or people’s personal web sites.

I could go on and on about how it’s easy for me to be in a text chat room or read an email or text cell phone message and see someone say “fuck you” and take that as being mean, rude and harsh. When the person sending the message heard it in their head as a sarcastic, laughing, joking, fuck you. This can be the same with forced sex, and any other kind of roleplay.

With this in mind, I remind everyone that we have ignore features built into the chat room.

I would love to have a full staff of moderators that can check every message sent with this system, but we don’t, and we can’t. We depend on our users to report any violations of our terms, and we really try to keep out the super creeps and scammers. Using this site really is at your own risk however, and we can not control everything all the time. If you find someone suggesting you go check out another site, be careful – it could have viruses or other malware. They could be trying to lure you into going someplace where they make money either directly or indirectly from you going there. If someone tries to lure you into chatting and they present themselves as not being an adult – they very well could be some type of enforcement agent undacova, or even that MSNBC to catch a predo or whatever people that they work with. Do not get lured into chatting with anyone you presents themselves as underage – odds of that being true are next to nil. If someone says they are not an adult when they chat with you, please report this behavior to our moderators through a pm so that we can ban them from the system. Being under the age of 18 and using our site is a violation of our terms of service, pretending to be underage is a violation of our terms of service and etiquette rules. We do not want anyone here doing either.

Before anyone flies off the handle about this, do a little looking banned books – and a quick look at banned books week (which starts tomorrow as of my editing this article) – a very slippery slope isn’t it?! Oh, but your slope isn’t THAT steep, I should just cut out this one thing, and then 80% or our users would be fine cutting out this other thing. Then a majority of our users are fine with some rebel rousers making a stink to cut out this third thing. Then no one would stand up and say hey don’t cut out this other thing, then we get a bunch of users from another part of the world, and they all start to complain that we need to cut out this other thing their holy book says that this one thing is really bad, when done in this way. Then other people say my holy book says this and this and this is all bad, so cut that out.

Well I say that this one piece of paper is more important to me, this one piece of paper that gives us the freedom of speech. That freedom is what allows Larry Flynt to publish Hustler magazine, and I fight for his right to publish that, and I will fight for your rights to publish whatever holy books you want to publish too. Whether I agree personally with your message or not, I will stand up for your right to express your self.

okcupid shows real data for those who are into rape fantasy broken down by state. – another example of what is considered normal and not can vary by location.

Now let me make a few things clear, I am not a big fan of incest, or rape, and several other things that some people feel compelled to talk about. In fact I have some big issues with forced sex talk, and seeing things like that in movies makes me cringe. It would be a really long blog post if we were going deeper into these details about my personal feelings and issues, so let’s move on.